Help For Guys - What You Need To Know About Women

1. A clear distinction between, and balance of attraction and value. 2. The psychological and physiological effects of both attraction and value. 3. The difference between surface attraction and deeper neurology based attraction. 4. Practical applications to decrease flaking and increase your overall odds of converting a chick.

First let's talk about value.

There is no absolute and objective value. It is all relative. (Cred: Dimitri) What is valuable to one girl is not valuable to the next. A rich and successful businessman has much value to a low income single mother, but relatively little value to a middle aged sugar mamma looking for a hot young stud. Similarly, some super peacocked goth dude has a lot of value to other goth chicks, but to a college party chick looking for a crazy frat boy, the goth dude is just some lame ass weirdo.

To a woman, a man's good looks and sense of style add to his value. His money and success - add to value. His body language which telegraphs his status and beliefs - that is value. His fame and social proof - still value. The compatibility of his and her identities, the strength of their connection (rapport is a subset of value), his listening skills, his conversational skills and socializing abilities - all value. If the girl shares similar interests as the guy - that makes him valuable. If he is a immigration lawyer and her family is overseas, he is extremely valuable. You get the picture ;)

In addition, if a man shares similar views of the world, and has similar future ambitions and dreams as she does (i e. They both want to be married by age 32 and have 3 kids...) this is also value. Compatibility equates to value. The perception of value is the conditioned response instilled in us by society and our upbringing. The average guy on the street in an attempt to get women will focus and make apparent his VALUE. He will attempt to show his material possessions and success and he will tell her he has similar interests and dreams for the future. This is the game of AFC's. It is comprised 99% of value, and the other 1% of the time, he randomly and unconsciously does something to create attraction. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of AFC's that subconsciously AVOID creating attraction.

The downfall of a nearly attraction-absent game is that the girl will attempt to LJBF you. You become valuable to her as a friend. If there is no attraction, there is no reason for the girl not to leave you in that category, with unlimited access to your value for eternity.

On the plus side, since value is completely aligned with society's programming, it can reduce your flaking completely. More on that later.

Now let's talk about attraction. :)

Attraction is highly coupled to validation. It is an automatic emotional response which symbolizes chasing. Attraction is felt physically in the body as a force propelling you to that which you are attracted. The very act of chasing something makes you more attracted to it. Actions which resemble chasing also create attraction. Metaphorically speaking, if you move toward someone, you feel attracted to them, and they feel validated. Conversely, If you move away from them, they feel attracted to you, while you feel validated.

Attraction is created by the multitudes of techniques and methods that are studied here on mASF. Negs, hoops, push-pull, c+f, dominant frames...etc. Anything that removes a person's validation in a fun and playful way creates attraction toward you. The fun and playfulness is there because that is what sucks them into and assists them in accepting the dominant or imaginary frame you have created with the technique. Remember that all of the attraction caused by verbal techniques is just surface attraction. It is temporary and superficial. People have a tendency to resist attraction. They are aware of the irrational emotional response created by attraction and attempt to shut it off as quickly as possible. Surface attraction created by mASF techniques is easily dissipated when a girl removes herself from the stimulus. Surface attraction is anything which does not give physical pleasure, however it is what leads to the deeper pleasure based attraction.

A theoretically perfect internally validated woman feels no attraction and chooses her partners based solely on their value. Of course those women don't really exist ;) so we have nothing to worry about. It is a worthwhile goal for us to become completely validated and choose those partners which only add value to our lives, and help us fulfill our dreams and goals in life.

There is also deeper level attraction created through kino and sex. When you touch and more importantly, fuck a woman, you anchor yourself to physical pleasure. This effect resembles attraction, but is much more powerful and intense -- also much harder to resist. It is the deep level attraction which locks itself into a woman's neurology through physical pleasure which will create strong bonds that are difficult to break. This is why good sex is so important to our game.

Ok, enough theory, how does all of this relate to GAME??

Flaking Sucks. Have you ever been in a club, ran a tight fucking set, had girls laughing, touching you and had their complete attention on you all night long?? Ever had those same girls flake? If you answered yes, then read on my friend, that is what this post is all about! :)

What you did was create massive amounts of surface attraction. But there are two important properties to surface attraction which work against you. Firstly, it is temporary and state based. It goes away when you do. Secondly, it is resisted because to the girls, it is a familiar unempowering emotional response. If you create a ton of surface attraction in the club, take a number and then go home.... I guarantee you have a flake on your hands. Flaking is the result of excess attraction combined with a lack of value. Simple and predictable. The only way to win a completely attraction-based game is to lay back completely, give her YOUR number and let her chase you, since any chasing on your part will dissipate her attraction to you. Likewise if you have lost a lot of value for some reason, if she discovered that you misrepresented your value, you cannot chase her to regain it. The attitude must be "Hey, I am who I am, take it or leave it."

Current anti-flaking techniques on mASF such as phone freeze outs and Next'ing her attempt to counteract flaking by creating more attraction. While these work on a temporary basis, they only address the symptom, not the cause of flaking. (I remember someone on the Intra-lair teleconference talking about using a phone freeze out 4 times on a chick before he got her to meet up) Since the underlying cause of flaking is a lack of value, merely adding more surface attraction is not only inefficient, but potentially detrimental. It only works proportionately to the amount that a chick is externally validated by guys. In other words, it only works on the type of chick who's only motivation in life is to be pursued by guys. Certainly someone I would never want as a girlfriend anyway.

If you play the attraction / validation game, remember that unless you create significant value, you are perpetually stuck in that game. Remember - chasing a girl completely dissipates attraction, so the moment you validate her, she will lose interest. Ugly / low relative value guys are forced to play the attraction game. The girl realizes he doesn't validate her, she says "WTF, this ugly guy doesn't like me, I'll change that!" and then proceeds to chase his validation, he plays a tight attraction game, fucks her a few times and she is caught.

The way to cure flaking is to demonstrate your value to a chick. Value has very important anti-flaking properties. It is permanent, it doesn't go away with time, and it is aligned with the influence of society and a girls previous programming. So when a girl leaves your presence, and her state goes back to "normal", you still have value. It doesn't change a bit.

Demonstrating value has a few components. First of all, you need to elicit what is valuable to her. And when I say EV, I don't mean the Speed Seduction EV routine, that can work, but I prefer a more subtle means. Through vibing with the chick, pay attention to what she talks about, and what her feelings are on different topics. Girls are CONSTANTLY communicating their values to us, we just need to tune into it. You can read a girls emotional response to things through her body language and tonality. What ideas and topics does she respond positively to? What does she respond negatively to? Cold read her values. You can say something like ... "I get the sense that X is really important to you... I like that." If you really want to be slick, then take her values and improvise a routine which demonstrates that you also have those values.

I have been able to turn around flakes (girls who would not even answer / return my calls) by demonstrating my value via a voicemail message to her. There is no attraction technique that can compete with that! ;) PRACTICAL APPLICATION

Ideally there should be a balance of attraction and value. The overall willingness a woman has to respond to you and please you is based on both value + attraction. A great PUA will demonstrate his value while producing enough attraction so that he has a chance to either demonstrate more value or seduce and fuck her (producing deeper level physical attraction). Let's talk application.

In a bar / club / mall / supermarket setting, when I'm not certain I can isolate a chick: (And most of the time since girls go out with their peer group, isolation is largely based on logistics) In this type of situation I will demonstrate value, with a bare minimum amount of attraction. I will take the number and be fairly certain she will not flake. Then I will create a situation where isolation is possible.

In isolation / or situation which predictably leads to isolation: Here I will ease off of the value and ramp the attraction. When I know the chick is not going anywhere, I will remove as much of her validation as possible and create a situation where it is her top priority to earn it back. Then I will use that opportunity to isolate, seduce and fuck her. It is important to fuck her very well at this point such that you anchor yourself to her intense pleasure. After sex, during the debriefing, continue to demonstrate your value to her to prevent future flaking.

The basic formula is:

1. Create perceived relative value for myself to reduce flaking and get her to meet. 2. Maintain enough attraction such that she does not view me as just a friend. 3. Create intense attraction during isolation to promote seduction. 4. Create a deep physical desire for me by linking myself to pleasure via sex. 5. Prevent future flaking by continuing to show that my value to her is real and genuine after sex.

Repeat steps 1-4 to reinforce and deepen the effect even more.

If you want to know how get ANY women and how to bring out the natural seducer that's inside of you RIGHT NOW you need to check out my new book The Attraction Code.

When I was writing it I wanted it to be a bootcamp in a book. The ultimate at-home transformation tool.

It turned out to be so much more than that.

I truly believe it is the only book you will ever need to change your life for the better... not only with women... but with people.

At the end of the day that's what it's all about... being good with people.

Check it out.

>> Guys - Become a risk taker 

As you guys probably know, we talk a lot here about three "Attraction Switches," which are the core traits that women find attractive in men. The three switches are:

1. Preselected by women

2. Leader of men

3. Protector of loved ones

I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think we should consider adding a fourth attraction switch: Successful Risk-Taker.

Why the successful risk-taker? Think about it. What is the most unattractive title that a woman can pin on a man? It's loser. Being a loser is the most unattractive thing that a guy can be. Dumb, player, weird, badly-dressed, dorky: all these are bad enough, but loser is the king of the insults when coming from a woman.

In a game of chance, the odds of success depend simply on what game you're playing, and your strategy. There are no world-champion blackjack players, because, aside from counting cards, there's no strategy you can use to win. But in real life, there's an extra factor: you. Some people, when they take a 1 in 10 risk, win every time. Some people, when they take a 50/50 risk, tend to fail a lot. The first group of people are winners, and the latter are losers. Which category of person you fall into says a lot about your character and ability to succeed in the world. You can also tell which kind of person a man is by the risks he takes.

For example, there's a common statistic out there that says two-thirds of all small businesses fail within the first two years. From that statistic, you might reasonably assume that starting a small business isn't really a smart idea. You might read that statistic and think "I'm better off here in the office, working for the man," but that's loser thinking. That two-thirds statistic is only relevant if you're just as smart, competent, and hard-working as the average small business owner. If you're brilliant, talented, and you have a good small business idea, your chance of failure might very well be zero.

The same applies to sports. The chance of a high school basketball player making the NBA is probably 1 in 1,000... unless your name is Michael Jordan, in which case it's 100%. So when you say to yourself "going for that goal is a big risk," think to yourself - is it really a big risk? For you?

And this is why the willingness to take risks is attractive to women. People who are willing to take risks do so because they are winners, and people who are afraid to take risks don't because they are losers. By taking risks, you are demonstrating to a woman that you are a winner... (well, either that or really stupid, but once you show you're not stupid, you look like a winner), and when you chicken out - you're a loser.

Let me give you guys some real-life examples of simple risk-taking and what it says about you.

* You won't eat Indian food - You're a wimp and will barf. * You think Mexico is too dangerous to visit - You're a chump and people like to rob you. * You would never play the stock market - You're not smart enough to win. * You're cheap (even if you're rich) - Deep down inside you fear losing your money. * You perform Jackass-like stunts - You're confident enough in your physical and mental prowess to do things that would otherwise be considered stupid. * You're trying to be a rock star - You're confident enough in your musical abilities that you're willing to risk it all. * You drive too fast - You're confident enough in your abilities that you're willing to bank on it. * You have a bad habit of being loud and abrasive in bad neighborhoods and seedy bars - you're confident that if things go down, you could handle yourself. * You have a healthy contempt for rules and punishments - You're smart enough not to get busted, and tough enough to risk the consequences.

Even risks that might otherwise be considered "stupid" can often make you look cool. If I were to do a bunch of Jackass-style stunts, I would probably hurt myself pretty bad, and for me, they would be stupid. But if you're tougher than the average guy and if you have the fortitude, then one of those stunts might be a perfectly acceptable risk. They only look dangerous to wimps.

So what do you do now that I've enlightened you with this information? First, you have to go out there and take risks, and live a risk-taking life. That might mean a few failures here or there, but if you keep at it, you'll become a winner. Second, when you're talking to women, you want to convey this information. Talk (in comfort) about how you did something that might seem foolish or rash, and how it worked out. Finally, just remember guys... it's successful risk taker, not stupid risk taker. I don't want you guys poking your eyes out and coming back to yell at me!

>> Female Psychology - True Love Conquers All

I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant.

I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.

I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.

I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman.

I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.

Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story.

This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.

I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then.

Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.

Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president.

I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.

Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work.

>>> Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.

You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!

I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)

* Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)

* Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.

* Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead.

* When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.

* DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.

* Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)

* To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.

* As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.

* She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.

* Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.

* Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better.

* Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.

* Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.

* BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick!

* One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.

If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.

Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)

Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do :-)

>> Charisma is built - not inherited 

I have to let you know something. To me, the whole point of learning about how to be good with women was always about what I could do to improve myself to actually ADD attractive value. It was never about "how to get sex".

If a guy just wants to get physical, all he has to do is actually LOWER his self-esteem and LOWER his worth, and accept ANY treatment from ANY woman who is willing to GIVE him some "action". He should keep his mouth SHUT as she abuses him. Of course, what he is getting is not a woman who is ATTRACTED to him, but rather a woman who is abusing him.

As crazy as it sounds, this is EXACTLY what a lot of people are preaching to guys nowadays!

So, let's not even waste our time on stuff like that, and let's stick to the SCIENCE of actually IMPROVING your skills at interacting with women in a way that actually triggers ATTRACTION.

First of all, let me make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that indeed this IS a science, with QUANTIFIABLE results. Improvement and progress CAN be made.

Allow me to give you some documentation: "Legendary psychologist Albert Ellis pioneered the "shame-attacking exercise" in 1933 at age 19, when he decided to approach every woman who sat down alone on a bench at the New York Botanical Garden.

"Thirty walked away immediately," he told the New York Times. "I talked with the other 100, for the first time in my life, no matter how anxious I was. Nobody vomited and ran away. Nobody called the cops."

And Ellis learned he wouldn't die from rejection. Of the first 130 women he went up to, he got only one date, he said, but "with the second 100, I got good and made a few dates"--and, eventually, got to be "one of the best picker-uppers of women in the United States." - Psychology Today Magazine, Mar/Apr 2007 by Erika Casriel

Now, this is a guy who had ZERO information on pick-up, and strictly worked on GUTS alone. When I started out, I had no one to really learn from, so I had to do the same thing, learning it all the HARD way. If I could go back in time, I could help his results MASSIVELY by letting him know GUARANTEED ways to get into the conversation without getting shut down so that he buys himself the required two or three minutes to actually SPARK attraction.

I would teach him all the various ways to disarm her and charm her that would at least give him a fighting chance, ways to take her automatic responses she gives all guys to shut them down and slip right by those statements.

For example, if she says that she is in a rush, then the best thing to say is to actually NOT ask her for a favor for a second, but to actually let her know that you're in a rush as well, (so that she can relax and not feel this is going to take forever). If she says anything that is defensive, the best way to diffuse it is to use warm humor (i.e. if she says that she doesn't talk to guys because guys are jerks, you should say something like "I agree! That's why I'm talking to you and not them" with a smile.) because you need to change her emotional state not even TRY to engage her actual argument or her logic.

If she's smiling, she's no longer going to WANT to shut you down.

The fact of the matter is that there are MANY factors involved in a successful pick-up, and KNOWING these in advance will HELP you get more consistent results.

And one factor IS getting over your anxiety, yet at the same time, it's important to realize that a BIT of anxiety and fear is actually a GOOD thing!

It can work in your favor. Ask any martial artist or any performer of anything and they will tell you that fear, when controlled, can actually ENHANCE your performance. It can help you stay alert and be on the ball. For example, if you are interacting with a woman and you start showing off without realizing it and she starts to roll her eyes, it's GOOD that you feel a bit of discomfort at this, as it MOTIVATES YOU to STEER THIS PICK-UP PROPERLY and change gears to showing that you are not full of yourself, for example, by making a joke that is SELF-DEPRECATING.

i.e. You're accidentally showing off about your prestigious education and you then see her roll her eyes, so you then say something like "And of course, I then got my PhD in useless facts, as we all know we learned more about real life outside school."

This actually shows that you are far cooler and also far more understanding and that you have more empathy as well, all in one swift move.

Again, normally you wouldn't have to engage in self-deprecating behavior, but in such as situation it would be the right thing to do and would actually make you seem cooler.

Now, if you have suffered major abuse yourself (and I know what that is like, so I am absolutely NOT making light of this) then the anxiety of a social interaction may be overwhelming, in which case you should first work on building UP your self esteem even higher and stop blaming yourself for everything, so that you can take the anxiety of a social interaction and use it to actually help you gauge what's going on in the situation. Once you're ready, you should then learn to USE a CONTROLLED level of anxiety in your favor.

If we never felt ANY discomfort in a social interaction, then we'd think we were PERFECT and never adjust our behavior to help make the other person feel the good vibes, and our social life would then SUCK.

Also, don't try to be PERFECT. Don't try to build Rome in one day, or you will feel that much FARTHER from progress and you will feel even MORE anxiety.

Instead, what I want you to do is become AWARE of the fact that progress CAN be made, STEP BY STEP. The best way is STEP by STEP.

When you are first learning these skills, you should each day push your envelope a little farther. Start by chatting up the clerks at stores, then work to starting conversations anywhere with anyone, then work to short conversations with women you're interested in, then longer conversations, then to first dates, then to getting physical, etc, etc.

THE KEY IS MOMENTUM. DON'T STOP THE DAY TO DAY PROGRESS.

And if you don't believe me that great CHARISMA is MADE and not BORN, let me give you some examples from that same article:

"Conan O'Brien has said he knew that performing live comedy was what he had to do because there was nothing in the world that terrified him more. But when he first debuted as host of NBC's Late Night in 1993, ratings were abysmal and reviews were even worse. Washington Post TV critic Tom Shales wrote that O'Brien was "a living collage of annoying nervous habits" and implored him to "get the heck off TV." But he stuck it out, and years later, the critics ate their words. Shales himself wrote that O'Brien became "one of the greatest examples of a self-makeover in television history"

Cool, isn't it. By the way, Conan is happily married, (a pretty cool feat in today's society) but if he wasn't, I assure you, his savvy social skills would make him AWESOME at attracting women.

In fact he proves these skills on national television, demonstrating outstanding wit, social skills, humor, timing, and the ability to both be a winner without every seeming egotistical and in fact is able to make fun of himself at just the right moments to endear him to millions.

Here's some more:

"Comedic superstar Will Ferrell, who once considered himself painfully shy, forced himself to do crazy things in public. "In college, I would push an overhead projector across campus with my pants just low enough to show my butt," Ferrell told People. "Then my friend would incite the crowd to be like, 'Look at that idiot!' That's how I got over being shy."

I remember while I was coaching a group of men who were part of a team selected by the Toronto Star for a contest called "Get A Relationship Challenge" where ten men and ten women were selected from the city, and they were to get out there and find someone special. One night, while coaching the guys at a popular night club, and demonstrating some fun stuff, one of the guys gave me a huge compliment without realizing it- he said something like "Yeah, you could do this pick-up stuff because you're a natural frat-boy, you're in your environment, you love this, but this is not me"

I smiled because the reality is that CLUBS used to be the FURTHEST THING ON EARTH from me.

This is the HONEST TRUTH.

So it was PROOF that this stuff COULD be learned and MASTERED to the point that it became effortless and natural.

Not only was I not interested in that type of environment, but I had no clue how the heck you can have a conversation with all that noise and all those distractions and how you can go from that to having not only a conversation but to getting a real interaction and taking it to a physical level all very fast. There was a time you couldn't pay me a million dollars to be in that environment.

So, if I could get over that, I knew that normal environments would be SUPER EASY for me. That motivated me to get good at that stuff, and the reality is that it does NOT take that long, but it DOES take MASSIVE DESIRE to succeed. The more you have the "eye of the tiger" for it, the faster you will succeed.

So DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND that "picking up girls" and being able to attract the kind of woman you 'want is beyond your ability, or beyond your personality. Don't think that your anxiety is a BLOCK, because it might just be the BEST thing you have going for you.

YOU can be the guy that OTHERS will say, "Oh but he's a NATURAL at this, he's in his environment" because you will have improved THAT MUCH that others will think this must have ALWAYS been something you were great at.

And if YOU want to learn the DEEPEST levels of how to be successful at pick-up and how to attract the kind of woman you are really interested in, then I suggest you take advantage of my programs.

Years ago, I was training guys to not rely routines, even as a bestselling author had written a book that swore by the value of memorized routines for picking up a woman.

This same author now agrees with what I said YEARS ago that routines are actually not necessary and that is very possible and in fact PREFERABLE to not rely on them.

I've never resorted to manipulation or abuse of women and I have always been repelled by that idea, as well as repelled by the idea of guys selling their self-esteem just to get any "action" from a woman, because they refused to learn how to actually spark ATTRACTION.

Only by understanding the deepest levels of attraction and human communication can you create a HARMONIOUS and awesome vibe with women.

This is about creating attraction on all levels in the most powerful and meaningful way possible, for the most lasting results with the kind of woman you truly want in your life.

Somewhere, right this very moment, the woman of your dreams is out there, WISHING that you knew all this stuff so that you could take effective action and MEET her and enjoy life together!

>> Confidence: Get It!

Read more by the author at Website: When I first entered the dating community 

>> FEATURED MEN'S HEALTH ADVICE...

>> YOUR PENIS: Is It Erectile Disfunction or Low Testosterone? An Article by Kate Falken

YOUR PENIS: IS THE PROBLEM ERECTILE DISFUNCTION - OR IS IT REALLY LOW TESTOSTERONE? HOW TO GET IT ALL BACK.

"My husband doesn't love me anymore!"

In my many years as a therapist, this has often been a wife's reaction to her husband's sudden inability to achieve an erection.

It used to be called impotence - now it's labled ED: Erectile dysfunction.

My reply has always been the same: "It happens all the time! To all men." All ages. However, it is more common in men over 40. It's not personal: it's Nature!

>> And then I'll say, "Tell him to see your family doctor. Get a checkup!"

Today, many men often combat ED with prescribed drugs: Viagra (oral sildenafil), Cialis and so on. I usually say: "Don't take prescribed drugs to achieve an erection or achieve better sex. There are two reasons why."

   >> FIRST: These prescribed drugs often have bad side effects:

* An allergic reaction (difficulty breathing; closing of the throat; swelling of the lips, tongue, or face; or hives);

* chest pain or an irregular heartbeat;

* swelling of the ankles or legs;

* shortness of breath;

* prolonged or severe dizziness;

* a prolonged (lasting longer than 4 hours) or painful erection; or dizziness, nausea, or angina (pain, tightness, discomfort, numbness, or tingling in the chest, arms, neck, or jaw).

   >> SECOND: These same prescribed drugs work by relaxing muscles within the penis. This allows increased blood flow into the male organ necessary to achieve and maintain an erection. The result is an erection, but no increased pleasure.

There are better ways to achieve both...

"What are these ways?

>>> ONE: GET A PHYSICAL CHECKUP

You should have a medical check-up. If you feel uncomfortable, you don't even have to mention "ED" to your doctor. This isn't where the problem really is, anyway. Have your doctor give you blood tests for blood sugar levels, electrolytes (sodium, potassium, chloride), magnesium, Vitamin B12, TESTOSTERONE and thyroid level as well as a routine urinalysis. Quite often, ED is just a symptom of a more general condition. THIS is where prescribed medication may may well be the answer.

GET A CHECKUP!

>>> TWO: THE LOVING SOLUTION

If your doctor tells you that you are a healthy old goat - everything is as it should be - then the next best way is to start to further explore your own and your partner's sexualilty.

Become adventurous and creative.

Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try a new position, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game.

Let's face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it is HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.

By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come. Rediscover each other.

>>> THREE: NUTRITION - FOOD & SUPPLEMENTS

If One and Two don't work, then you may well need a little extra-medicinal help. But STAY NATURAL. Usually, something as simple as vitamin supplements will do it. If you are over 50, there a any number of Vitamin B&C and multi-mineral (including zinc) compounds available.

The supplement Epimedium (also known as Horny Goat Weed) often works, not only giving a "natural Viagra" type erection, but also causing a more "pleasurable penis." Other supplements are leaf saw palmetto, tribulus terristris, cuscuta, ginko, ginseng, licorice, schisandra and cistanche. These work -- if mixed in the right combination.

The natural supplements being recommended most right now are aloe vera, bitter orange, black cohosh, damiana, maca, dong quai, ginger root, ginkgo biloba, green tea, and milk thistle.

Consume whole foods that are high in fiber and low in sugar such as lean protein (lean beef, chicken, fish, and whey protein), fruits & vegetables (oranges, apples, strawberries, blueberries, broccoli, peppers, asparagus, carrots, nuts (almonds, cashews, & walnuts), and whole grains.

Eat lean protein sources which include; lean beef, chicken breasts, turkey breasts, salmon, low-fat cottage cheese and other low-fat dairy products, and whey protein powders, at every meal. This will also help control insulin levels and satisfy hunger pangs which tend to promote fat storage. You will find yourself naturally eating less food throughout the day if you eat some type of lean protein at every meal.

  > But the most important of these is ONE - GET A PHYSICAL CHECKUP!

And guess what? More and more men over 40 - especially the over 50 Boomers - are showing low testosterone levels.

So let's take a look. Are you showing these symptoms?

1- Low sex drive and difficulty maintaining a full erection...

2- Fatigue and loss of energy...

3- Loss of lean muscle...

4- Fat accumulation and weight gain...

5- Increased incidences of bone fractures...

6- Mood swings...

7- Sleep disorders...

While the above symptoms can be the result of a number of medical problems the "Loss of lean muscle" is a very good indicator of lessening levels of testosterone. If you exercise consistently but can't add any lean muscle, are seeing a real loss of muscular strength and a loss of muscular endurance, this is a crucial sign.

A simple blood test will reveal if you have hypogonadism - low testosterone.

And how is it cured? Easy.

Testosterone Replacement. Injectible testosterone, creams or tablets. Your doctor will prescribe what he or she thinks will work best for you.

The results in just about all cases are amazing. Just about all men find a greatly increased desire for sex, full erections and enhanced performance. As well as improved mood and sleep - increased memory and alertness - dramatically increased Lean Muscle as well as a loss of body fat, especially on the belly.

And all it takes is a Medical! Visit your friendly family physician. It can change your life.

>> Kate Falken has participated in psychic research, dreamstudy, marriage counseling and the practice of psychology for over 30 years. To read more relationship tips and advice for guys - Click Here for How To Find A Loving Woman  &  Relationship Help - How To Win & Keep Your True Love!

WUVING.com Sitemap