Dating for Over 50s Men - Meeting a Hot Woman Your Own Age

Most of us, once we reach a certain point in life, stop going to a certain type of place, namely: singles bars. And, while it is unlikely you will actually be prevented from going in to one, the question is really whether or not you want to go to that sort of place any more. And, if you do go to one, are you likely to be comfortable competing with the various twenty- or thirty-somethings that do usually frequent them? The answer is "probably not." So, in that case, what are your other options for meeting someone new?

Church groups are one option. The odds are, that at fifty plus, you will probably have settled on a church, and would likely prefer to date someone outside of your present social scene. There are many other church groups, depending on the area you live in, that would welcome a new member, and are worth a look.

Activity groups are another. Ramblers' associations, kayaking groups, photography clubs are all likely places where you have a good chance of meeting someone with similar interests to your own. On the other hand, perhaps it's time for a new hobby, and you might like to join a club or group that encourages a different activity to the ones you are used to. Chambers of Commerce, professional organizations, Lions clubs will all provide similar opportunities.

The grocery store. Without coming across as a desperate stalker-type, a quick glance into somebody else's grocery store trolley should give you an idea of whether or not that person is single. It may also give you a clue as to whether or not you might be interested in that person. The guy with a dozen bottles of wine, two bottles of gin and three frozen meals might not be exactly what you had in mind. On the other hand, he might be the perfect complement. Many a romance has blossomed in the frozen food aisle.

Online dating services. There has been a big increase in the amount of and type of online dating services for a reason. It is hard to meet someone new without a substantial investment of time and effort on your part. Online dating services take a lot of the work out of it. It could take dozens of dates before you finally meet that non-smoking atheist with an interest in nature and walking that you have your heart set on. Most of the services do a very good job of vetting candidates before allowing them to join their network and there is a good chance that what you see advertised on the site is what will arrive for the date.

They also give you the opportunity to start developing the relationship before actually meeting , either via email or phone. One of the most uncomfortable situations during dating is the first date and discovering something about the other person that you absolutely couldn't live with.

Using an online dating service takes that out of the equation. You will probably have been asked a comprehensive list of questions when you signed up for the service that will ensure that you never have to experience that nightmare first date. You know the one, where you discover that all he really wants is a casual sex relationship or that she would never consider a long-term relationship with an agnostic lapsed Jew that is allergic to walnuts and despises Verdi.

All in all, there are a lot of possibilities and opportunities to meet new people. It may mean that you have to "think outside the box." But if you are prepared to expand your horizons a little, perhaps by joining a club that you wouldn't have though of before or signing up for an online dating service, you may well find that there are more people than you thought in a situation similar to your own.

>>> Married and Looking? Don't Get Caught

Just because you've decided to go outside your marriage for casual sexual relationships doesn't mean you are looking for a divorce. Plenty of men, and women, are happily married and want to keep that relationships going but just have needs that their spouse can't meet. Once you've decided that you want to start an affair you need to be smart about it or you could end up losing everything.

First, you will need a few supplies. Start with a laptop computer with wireless Internet access. Using the household computer is just asking for trouble. Even if you are meticulous about clearing out your Internet history it is just too easy to be discovered. Not to mention that there are lots of companies that sell spyware and keystroke logging software that would allow your suspicious spouse to keep tabs on all of your Internet activity.

It isn't safe to use your workplace computer either since many companies monitor the activity. The laptop solves all these problems. Use it at wireless hotspots to eliminate the possibility of your spouse reading over your shoulder. Next, you'll need to invest in a prepaid cellular phone. This way your activity won't show up on any phone bills and you won't worry about your spouse getting a phone call from an angry mistress. Finally, you will need to get a new email account that you will use only for your extramarital activity. There are a number of free email services available which you can sign up for and they are totally untraceable to your real information.

Next, you have to figure out how you are going to meet your sex partners. Even though you may have somebody already in mind it is usually not a good idea to get involved with someone who knows your personal information. It is just too risky. If you need to be reminded of the dangers go rent Fatal Attraction.

Luckily we have the Internet and numerous online dating sites that allow you to meet people. You can go to one of the traditional dating sites and pretend to be single or use some of the sites created especially for those who are married and looking. While the traditional sites have more users and matches you are also going to have to lie to the person and work hard to juggle the double life. It may be better to use the sites that cater to people looking for casual sex.

That way you can be sure that you both want the same thing without worrying about having to deal with someone who is clingy and looking for a long term relationship. Of course you can't have the rendezvous at your home but it probably isn't safe to have it at the other persons, not at first anyway. It is too easy for you to get robbed or hurt by someone if you are meeting at their home. A hotel reserved on your credit card and then paid for in cash is your best option.

Finally, you need to make sure that you aren't betraying your actions with your behavior. Try to keep your home life as normal as possible. If you are the type of person who stays home every night it will look suspicious when you are suddenly making excuses to go out five nights a week.

If you and your mate usually have sex once a week it is going to throw a warning flag when you are no longer interested in it, or suddenly want it more then usual. If you start to feel yourself falling in love with the new person it is time to figure out what you want. It is possible to have romantic feelings towards two people at the same time, but it isn't fair to do it secretly. Sex is one thing but love is something else. And, as always, practice safe sex. You don't want to bring anything back home with you. Condoms are needed each and every time.

By following these tips and thinking with your brain instead of your pants and you can keep your marriage while also having some fun on the side.

>>> I'm Fifty and I want to Date Again! Where Can I Find a Big Beautiful Woman My Age?

There you are, fifty-something-years old, recently single, recovering from whatever shock happening put you in this position, and you decide it's time for a change. Time you got out there and did something different. Time you met that special someone to make your life complete.

You cast your mind back to the last time you went on a date. That would be with your recently divorced/deceased spouse. How old were you then? Twenty-one? Eighteen? Whatever age it was, the chances are it's been a long time since you went on a date. Perhaps as long as thirty years for some of us. Things have changed. Dating for the over 50 is a little different to dating in your teens.

Unless you are of a particularly adventurous nature, chances are that some of the things you might have done on a first date the last time you were dating are unlikely to work this time. For a start, the local Roller blading rink has probably been torn down and replaced with a shopping mall. Not only that, but the things your potential partner are looking for in a first date have probably changed too.

So let's look at some of the things that will definitely have changed:

You are older. That may sound incredibly obvious, but this is important to remember. You are not an eighteen-year-old stud/cheerleader any more. That doesn't mean you can't still impress the ladies/guys, but pulling up outside her house on a ratty dirt bike with no muffler, wearing a ripped leather jacket is unlikely to have the same bad-boy appeal it had when you were seventeen.

AIDS. Last time you were out there, this probably wasn't an issue. Make no mistake, this is now a serious problem. Not just for the homosexual/promiscuous/junkie population. It's a problem and a real risk for everyone, regardless of age, sex, race, or religion. Catching AIDS is just like they used to warn young girls about getting pregnant. It only takes one time. Be careful. Use protection. It's no good pretending otherwise, at least one of the reasons to go on a date is in the hope that you will have sex.

Your date now has a history. He/she has probably been married, more than once possibly, he/she probably has children and responsibilities and commitments that are nothing to do with you. This needs adjusting to. When his ex-wife phones during your romantic meal it isn't about you, it's about him and his past relationship. It's nothing personal. And it's not your fault. Same thing when her ex-husband turns up to collect their joint children and looks upset that you are staying in what was once his house, sleeping with what was once his wife. It's nothing personal aimed at you. The only sensible way to deal with the intrusion of the past is to talk about it. Don't let it get you down and don't take it personally. If the ex is intruding at unreasonable times, say so. Sit down, discuss the situation and come to an amicable arrangement. Whether you like it or not, you're a grown up now.

You have baggage. There is always a temptation to recreate with a new partner, whatever it was you had that was good with your previous partner. Resistance in this case is NOT futile. This is a new person, you are a new person. Behave accordingly and allow a new relationship to bloom. You never know, it might be fun, and you might like it. Try and leave the baggage at the train station.

Some things have not changed; we all need someone in our lives and just because you are over fifty, doesn't make you any different from anyone else. So take a deep breath, pick up the phone or sign up for an online dating service and get yourself a date.

What's Better: One Night Stands or Friends With Benefits?

When you are looking for a casual sexual relationship instead of romance you really have two options, one night stands with new people or a friends with benefits relationship where you have an ongoing sexual liaison with the same person.

So which one is the best path to take? It depends on how important safety, excitement, and casualness are for you.

Unfortunately safety is an issue in this day and age. If you are meeting people in bars or over the internet for one off casual sexual encounters there is a real danger of being physically assaulted or robbed.

This is less likely if you are involved with someone you know and have a relationship with. And if something does happen with an acquaintance at least you know enough information like their name, phone number and address that they can be arrested for the crime.

Sexually transmitted diseases are another concern. While safer sex practices like condoms and dental dams will protect against many diseases there are some, including crabs and genital herpes, that can be transmitted even with their use. If you have a friends with benefits arrangement it is easier to go in for regular testing together to make sure that everything is okay.

Keep in mind that even if you are having sex with someone you know you still should be using protection since they may be involved with other people. You can't tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them. If you are a guy having sexual relationships with a woman always use a condom, even if they claim to be on the pill. The pill isn't 100% and there are lots of men out there paying child support because of an Oops child. Keep it covered. It's better safe then pregnant.

While friends with benefit arrangements can be safer they can also lack the excitement of one night stands. There is something primal about meeting someone and getting physical without even knowing their name. With one night stands it is new experiences all the time.

Of course there is always the possibility that those new experiences won't be very good. It is the difference between trying new restaurants all the time and always going to the same place.

One is more exciting but the other is more dependable. Another problem with friends with benefit arrangements is that there will likely be times when you want sex and the other person just isn't in the mood. You never have that concern with one night stands. You just go looking when you want it and stay home when you don't. On the other hand, a continuing friends with benefits relationship can be exciting because you get to know what turns them on and they know how to get you hot.

The final thing to consider is how casual you want the relationship to be. With one night stands there is not a risk of emotional involvement since you don't have time to build that bond with the other person. But sometimes those bonds are good. Having someone who you can talk to and laugh with after sex can be nice. However, there is a real risk of friends with benefits turning into one sided romantic relationships. It isn't unusual for one party in these affairs to start to fall in love with the other person.

If you want to keep things casual and they want to move it into something more it can be awkward and painful. If you are in that type of situation it is best to end things completely instead of stringing them along with the hope that they, or you, will change.

If you find that you have a habit of trying to turn sexual relationships into love then maybe you should stick to one night stands, or just accept that you get your kicks from monogamy and find a relationship based on more then sex.

What's better, one night stands or friends with benefits? It is all up to you. In either case, if you know what you want going into it you will be able to get what you need out of it.

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>>> Casual Sex - Where to Find Partners

Let's face it, casual sex is fun. Or at least, it is supposed to be. And, if all parties agree, consent, and are expecting nothing else, that's exactly what it will be.

If you just want to get laid, there are many options open to you. Bars, night clubs, and music venues are often filled with people looking for exactly the same thing that you are. Sex. Most people, either men or women, make it perfectly clear that that's what they are interested in as soon as they find somebody that they are attracted to. Guys, if she is laughing at those stupid jokes, you are probably on the right track. And girls, if he's telling those jokes in the first place, you probably are too. Let him know you are interested with a few well placed laughs.

Most singles bars are well-known to be exactly that. Most of the patrons know and just by going there in the first place are making some kind of statement about what they are looking for. If you are a single hetero sexual male, you probably won't find what you are looking for in a gay bar. If you knowingly go into a singles bar, the chances are that someone will try to pick you up. That's the whole point of singles bars.

But, if you are new to the area, or are just staying for a short while, what then? How do you find those singles bars that everyone else already knows about? If you are staying in a hotel, start by asking the concierge. He or she probably doesn't get off work until about midnight and will likely know the sort of places you are looking for. If they don't go to those kind of places, try asking the waitresses and bartenders in one of the chain restaurants that will likely be close to your hotel. These people also, probably don't finish work until the dinner shift is over and one of them will likely know where to go.

The internet is also a good option. Many singles now advertise for what they are looking for on the internet. Some online dating services only offer a service for finding a long term partner, but many other services are geared towards the less serious short-term relationship. i.e. a one night stand. Give them a try, you might be surprised how easy it is to find someone looking for a casual relationship and may even prefer someone from out-of-town. There are many different services out there, some are very well established, but there are new ones coming online all the time. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. A quick look through the types on offer will give you a good idea as to which one will suit your particular tastes.

Obviously, the pickings are likely to be richer in a larger, more cosmopolitan city than in a smaller, provincial town. But don't discount the smaller towns you may have found yourself in, there are people looking for someone like you everywhere.

Developing casual sex only relationships can be tricky sometimes, especially if you do happen to live in a smaller community. It is only a matter of time before you find yourself with the kind of reputation you may not want. But, unless you live in Juno, Alaska, there is probably another town a short distance down the road. And a weekend trip out of town is always an option. The good thing about these sort of trips is that you are unlikely to run into any embarrassing situations.

Once you have found a potential partner, just remember, AIDS is prevalent nowadays. Be careful, use protection, especially if you do not know the other person very well.

Having said that, assuming you are prepared to be careful, get out there and have some fun. Who knows what the night holds in store?

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>>> Retracing Your Steps Online

You've always been the type of person who didn't want too much clinging (from both parties) when it comes to dating, yet most of your reservations have been blown to bits the moment you've met your current partner online. Not only does he seem to be very concerned on whether he's intruding on your time, he's also a single parent - and that appeals to you especially after you've seen how close he is to his kid.

Recent events have made you feel insecure however. You know you are far from clingy, yet why do you feel as if you're the one hovering about all the time? Yours is a classic story. You met at a singles dating online room. You chat for a while. You get to know each other. After about two weeks of doing this nightly, you meet up. Things click, and you go on many other dates. You got to see his kid once, and that was it. The kid seemed to like you, and you didn't want to push it. Besides, you know that one of the classic rules of dating a single parent is not to ever get in between him and his child.

What you have not anticipated, however, is that single parents are as human as the rest of us. Just because they managed thus far to balance their lives does not mean that they have no desire to spend some quality time with their friends, or have some alone time. You also have to factor in that becoming a single parent might have made them put some career goals on hold - the key phrase being "on hold." At some point, these individuals would want to take up where they left off, and not only will this take a lot of time, it will also take a lot of energy. Being a parent doesn't negate these desires. In fact, having these needs met would lead to a more well-rounded parent, admittedly a better one, rather than one who is grumpy, lonely, and angry.

So, be a lot more understanding. If you feel that you are not getting enough time with your single parent, remember that you did meet online, after all. There are still ways that you can keep in touch with him in between those sparse dates. Someone who's that busy is bound to have a Blackberry, or some other gadgets. Aside from your usual e-mails and text messages of, "Hi, there," you could try for sending some jokes or mood-lifting e-cards. After all, how many times can you really say, "Hi, there," before you start looking like an e-stalker?!

If by chance you catch him up on IM, don't get too eager to message him. Stay online for a while without sending him a message at all, and wait if he will do the first move. Sometimes, even in this modern world, men feel good if it were them who usually do the first move. Give him that 'privilege' to be THE man. If he didn't even send you a smile, don't think badly about it. Drop him a smile and log-off. Chances are, he might be doing something important, say, he's conversing with his boss via IM and doesn't want to disturbed. To avoid the clingy you to surface especially in this kind of situation, DON'T THINK, just feel. Thinking will come later after you have finally come to know him offline. And if he's really that busy, chances are that there are times he doesn't even have enough time to surf the net and keep up with news that interests him. Get to know his interests and send him links to articles he otherwise might miss. If he's a gadget man, a cool new product or some upcoming releases could be one way of perking up an otherwise tiring day, and make good conversation pieces when you DO finally get to have dinner.

All in all, if you met online, that's certainly an advantage for you. There was already a meeting of the minds. It's time to channel that vibe again.

==>> Article by Judy Porter, contributing writer for www.silverfishing.com, a free online dating service for over-50 aged singles. Dating doesn't end when the kids have flown the coop. That's just when the fun begins! If you're looking for a date who shares your wisdom, your experience and your tastes in life, check out SilverFishing.com.

>>>Men Beyond 50 - I'm 50 Will I Still Find a Perfect Match?

There are many things to consider when searching for a companion, whatever your age. However for over 50 men, it could be an threatening mission. There are lots of ways to meet someone, special. There a lot of reasons for an over 50 person to be free. Perhaps divorce, separation, or the death of a spouse. Perhaps they just have yet to find that remarkable person that completes them.

One problem usually encountered by older individuals is the absence of single friends in their community circle. This could be a tad daunting, because your social circle is usually a place to start dating. If this is the situation, explore your likes and dislikes. Attend a social group, or a political group. This is an excellent method to not only enlarge your communal group, but appreciate yourself in your free moments.

Another roadblock in the life of the older individual is the mindset that they are too old to date. Inquire yourself a question. Is somebody ever too elderly to find happiness? Just bring to mind that you are a person with a bunch to present. There are many great characteristics in older men that are not come by in younger demographics. You possess good judgment of responsibility, not to mention a lifetime of tails to tell and a generation more to make. There has been, and should continue to be advances in personal relationships and dating for ages to come. You may have been "out of the loop", so to say, but now is a perfect opportunity to pull alongside.

One of those progressions is internet dating. There are both positives and negatives to this. You might think that the online dating arena is partial to the younger generation. That is just not the circumstance. A quick online exploration can expose countless of online dating sites, many of which are geared to those over fifty. But is internet dating for you? How far are you prepared to trek to meet somebody? Use of these sites is encouraging for some motives. You might be a shy individual and have anxiety approaching people. But human contact is still an important part of dating. It is effortless for individuals to get caught up in the "online" of online dating websites. Perhaps you are just not sure where to start. It may be beneficial to question acquaintance or family member that has some familiarity with the internet dating world. Remember, online dating is very successful for some individuals. I'm certain you have seen the ads on television. Just make sure you investigate all of the choices available to you.

Have you worried that if you go to a club, you will appear like the old guy? Is a bar really a place where you would like to encounter somebody? Bars are impersonal and can make it hard to comprehend what someone's goals may be. They are frequently loud and packed, and maybe not the best atmosphere for getting to know someone. If you do choose a bar as a place to meet possible dates, plan to go somewhere with a good environment.

Ok, so perhaps you are considering returning to the dating scene again, but you have no clue where to begin, or where to turn? Over 50 men, don't be afraid! There are lots of areas to begin. One great method is to find a matchmaker service in your community. Somebody who you can share your interests with, as well as any concern you may have about dating again. The personal touch is unsurpassed, and these people are skilled in finding people with comparable interests and personality traits in your group.

It's understandable that being an older individual, it can be a daunting undertaking to start dating again. However with an open mind and a bit of outside help, you may just discover that special relationship you have been searching for.

Allan Tan is an experienced writer on over 50 men, dating, and relationships. He has been writing for many years and has had many articles published. Some of Allan's most favorite topics to write on include mature single professionals, mature daters, relationships, and matchmaking. Allan's articles are well written and memorable. They are especially great for anyone looking to start dating and still keep up with their daily activities.

>>> What To Do When Your BBW Wants to Lose Weight?

This happens and it's not a silly question.

There may come a time in your relationship with a big beautiful woman where she utters the most awful of four letter words - diet. Even though you love the size and shape of your large and lovely lady it doesn't matter unless she feels the same way about herself. So what happens when she wants to lose weight and you want her to stay where she is? Her weight is part of the reason you were attracted to her in the first place and you worry that if that changes it will end your love affair. It's similar to how a man who likes long hair would feel if his girl got a pixie cut or when a guy who likes petite women falls in love with someone who starts to gain weight. But in all those situations the key is that even though you are in love you aren't in possession of another persons body. They still have the right to make their own choices. By trying to manipulate them into doing what you want you are showing disrespect for your woman and your relationship.

Your first instinct may be to try and sabotage her efforts to lose weight. Don't do it. You go out and stock the freezer with chocolate ice cream and stock the pantry with her favorite chips and dip. All that temptation will likely work if your goal is just to get her to fail to reach her goals, but the cost will be too great. By going behind her back and not supporting her in her goals you will be doing great harm to your relationship. It's understandable that you might feel upset or scared when your big beautiful woman says she wants to lose weight.

The best way to be supportive is by figuring out why they want to lose weight. If they are doing it because they want to conform for some societal standard of beauty then you can help by focusing on how big is beautiful and feminine and how it is more womanly to be shapely than to look like an emaciated teenage boy. This will strengthen your relationship and will make her abandon the diet. Maybe they want to lose weight to fit into a certain dress or for a special occasion. In that case usually we are talking about just 10 or 15 pounds and not a huge change. Being helpful by making low calorie foods and going for romantic walks together will help you grow as a couple as you reach that goal.

Often times the desire to lose weight may come because of health concerns. There is nothing inherently unhealthy about being a big woman as long as your blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure are all normal. The idea that thinner is healthier isn't always true. If your lady's main concern is health then you can encourage her to start eating more fruits and veggies, cutting back on sugar, and adding exercise to your daily routine. These small changes may result in a few pounds lost but more importantly it will lead to a longer and better quality of life all without having to resort to becoming a waif. These activities are good for you too. Think of it as taking action to live a longer life together. It is possible to be big, beautiful, and healthy but it will take your love and support.

When your large and lovely lady wants to slim down don't look at it as the end of your relationship and don't try and get in the way of her goals. Through communication and support you will be able to help her achieve her goals, of better self esteem or a healthier lifestyle, without losing her or too much of the body you've come to love. If you just can't accept that your woman wants to change then you need to take a step back and examine your relationship. Are you in love with a person or just her weight?

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>>> 50 and Dating Again

Re-entering the dating scene at the age of 50 or older can be downright intimidating. But when you approach it with the right mindset, it can also be an exhilarating and exciting experience. It all depends on your attitude.

Look at this time in your life as a new opportunity for change and growth. With these five dating tips, you can find love.

Keep yourself active The biggest disservice you can do to yourself when you are dating over 50 is to sit around and wait for the perfect mate to drop into your lap. If you spend all of your time worrying and waiting over finding the right person for you, you've got the wrong perspective. Fill your life with activities of all sorts. If you lead an interesting life not only will you be less likely to focus on being without a partner, but you'll be more interesting to your potential love interest. Take classes, start a new sport, read about something you've always wanted to learn about. In short, live a full life.

Focus on what you want long term Feeling lonely can sometimes cause seniors to settle for less just because they want companionship. Don't forget to keep your long term interests in mind. Don't get into a relationship unless you really see yourself with that person in the future. It's a waste of your time, and the other person's, to settle for less. Cure your loneliness with friends and new activities and you'll be able to wait for the right person.

Learn the new rules of dating Dating may have changed a lot since you were last "on the market" so it's helpful to spend some time getting to know the new dating landscape. Dating advice books and websites that are specifically geared toward the over 50 set will help you realize how much has changed, and how much hasn't. It's much easier to be a participant if you know what the game is like.

Decide what you want Be sure you know what you're looking for, and know how to communicate it, before you put yourself out there. You may not be ready to get into a long term relationship and are just looking for companionship. Alternatively, you may have been on the seniors dating scene for while and want something that lasts. If you define what you want for yourself, you'll be better at letting other people know that too.

Be honest Avoid the temptation to lie about your age. This type of thing normally comes out at a later time and can ruin a really good relationship. You can eliminate the need to lie about your age by dating within your own age group. You're a lot more likely to shave a few years (or a decade) off of your age if you are trying to date someone who is much younger.

Keep in mind that, when it comes to senior dating, the best policy is to have a good sense of humor and a great deal of patience!

>>> How To Meet Women Online: Sending Women Messages That Create Attraction

The biggest dilemma for most men when they're trying to meet and date women online is: how do you get them to reply to you, to start talking with you?

Let's first take a look at how crappy the messages in a woman's profile inbox usually are. Attractive females receive around 20-50 messages a day, which are almost ALL the same ones (they fall into the three categories I describe below) that annoy the heck out of her. This is a big fat what NOT to do:

- You can tell a woman she's pretty, an angel or whatever, but doing that will only make her think: how many women did you use this one on already? It's letting her know you not even took the time to READ her profile! Or she'll feel that your interest is only shallow (you like her for her looks), and not genuine (you like her for who she is-- her personality). Being shallow KILLS attraction.

- You can tell a woman that you're probably not here type but would love to talk to her sometime, which reads I'm already writing myself off and think I'm WAY out of your league in her language. It's coming across insecure, and desperate. Being desperate or insecure RUINS your chances.

- You can tell a woman she's hot and that she should add you on blabla @yadayada.com, but guess how many of those other 50 messages say that? Guess how needy and desperate you'll come across, and why would she even add a stranger to her Instant Messenger or worse: call him? Being needy cripples your chances of getting her number.

These all WON'T work, because you're telling her the wrong kinds of things, and you're not talking to her for who she is but for how she looks. The best way to get her to respond to your message is by, drumroll please, talking to her about who she is.

But how? I always, 24 hour a day, use HER hobbies, interests, likes, passions and activities to create attraction by teasing them about it. I let her know I'm selective, that I'm a playful guy and that I'm not afraid to challenge her for who she is all at the same time. In short: let the accusing begin!

Of course you'll start to wonder why.

Why Is Teasing So Effective?

There are a number of psychological reasons for it being so darn effective as it really is, and I'd like to share them with you so you'll know WHY you're doing what you're doing, and WHY it works.

- I'm teasing with accusations (see examples below), and what's the most logical response to an accusation? Defending your case, in fact studies have shown that we're DRAWN to explain ourselves when we're accused of something, so a response is triggered because of human nature itself!

- Most men are intimated by a woman's looks, and will either hesitate to approach her or won't approach her at all. Next to this, they'll try to do everything for her and be really sweet to make her like them, in short: they aim to please. Thirdly, lots of men are NERVOUS when physically around women: they feel uncomfortable, not at ease, they're body is tense.

- But guess what happens when you tease her? You'll show you're NOT intimidated by her looks and NOT afraid of showing interest in her. You're NOT trying to be someone else just so she'll like you more or agree with everything she says, is and does like all those but kissing men out there. You're also showing her that you're comfortable around women, yourself around women, you're at tease and relaxed (almost TOO relaxed). These are all attractive qualities in a man.

- Now, when you accuse her, you first of all playfully tease her which is a lot of fun, it's exciting and she'll want to play around MORE (and she'll start teasing and accusing YOU because of it). Next to this, women always have been the most selective of the sexes. Why? Because men don't run any risks when they have sex (except for STDs of course), but women? Women run the risk of becoming PREGNANT: being unstable and limited in their moments for a long period of time, plus they'll have a child afterwards that needs to be taken care of too. And if a woman would indulge in giving in to every guy trying to seduce her? She A) wouldn't have a life, B) would constantly be pregnant which would make it harder and harder for her and the increasing number of children to survive and C) not every man is born equal, as such a woman will want a guy with genes that offer the highest chance of survival for her offspring. So women NEED to be selective, they need to select a best possible mate or humankind would die pretty fast. But when YOU are the one doing the selecting with your accusing, magical things start to happen: all of a sudden YOU are perceived to be the object of desire, YOU are sought after and harassed by women who want to mate making it hard for YOU to have a life. We want what everyone else is having, because if everything else wants it then it MUST be good, right? You're subcommunicating that you're amazingly good by teasing, challenging and accusing her, and since women want men with good genes? They'll want YOU!

Examples

- I looked at your profile and noticed how you like spaghetti, but are NOT from Italy. Tell me: you're NOT of those suit wearing, slick talking, gelled-out hairdo Godfather WANNABEES are you? What are you wanted for? Tell me! :P

- I looked at your profile and noticed how you like horses, and I'm kinda curious because I don't usually hang around with horseriders that much, so is it TRUE, that horseriders get a firmer *SS from ALL that riding in the sadle? :P

- I looked at your profile and noticed how you have BLUE eyes but DARK hair, which is an ABSOLUTE freak of nature, it never happens! :P So that makes me wonder, tell me, you're a DUMB BLONDE by nature aren't you? (A)

I can hear you think: yeah, but that would take AGES to do, right? WRONG! You just have to know what to look for on her profile, and here's what you should be looking for:

1. As soon as you land on her profile and saw that she's kinda cute, only pay attention to her hobbies, likes, dislikes etc. there ALL in the Interest section (or in her Description). You can recognize the Interest area of her profile by looking for the place where she answers things like Hobbies: hobby 1, 2, 3 and Music: artist 1, CD 2, etc.

2. As soon as you've found a couple of things you could go with, find the one that's easiest to tease her with: say she has shopping, cooking and tae bo as her interests and you only know tae bo, make things as easy as possible for yourself and tease her with THAT: so I was looking around on your profile again and saw you're into tae bo, getting into shape by punching and kicking your way through the day. So be honest here: How many exes did you secretly beat the crap out of and should I sleep with one eye open when I know you personally? :P. It's accusing her of being an abusive girlfriend, an aggressive lover, etc. Why go for the easiest one? Let me explain.

What's a very predictable response to an accusation? A defense: nooo I'm not like that hahaha or that so untrue! you're so mean, those kinds of answers. And an easy way to continue that most common reply is: all I hear is a GUILTY conscience talking you LIAR you! :P just admit it: you're a threat to every boyfriend you have :P which will amplify the attraction even more. You see? That's already a second message right there.

The final step: getting her contact information

In the end, women must feel comfortable and safe enough around you to move to the next step with you. You must be a trustworthy guy, and you can make sure she feels like this by CONNECTING with her. Why is connecting with her so important? Because if you're only accusing, sooner or later she'll think she DOESN'T stand a chance. This is because you're positioning yourself as more dominant than her (you are the object of desire, she's not. You are the almighty accuser, the judge, and she's the defender, the weaker one on trial).

Do you understand what this means? It means that playing TOO hard to get will make her think you're out of her league, no really, she will!

So connect with her. How?

I'll switch it up and continue the topic in a way that builds a connection, in the case of the tae bo girl I would continue about tae bo (how does doing it make her feel, what's important to her about getting into shape, at what level of Tae Bo does she work out, etc.).

You see? Searching for the thing that's easiest for you to talk about (because you can think of multiple things to tease and to connect around that subject) leads to entire conversations online, and when you're messaging back and forth like this for about 4-5 messages long? Then it's easy to say: I have to go now, so why don't you give me your number, because then we can continue this conversation on the phone tomorrow. There you go: you got yourself a number.

Something like that will do just fine. If you look closely, you'll see I'm STILL talking about EMOTIONS (the how does it make you feel?). Why? Because attraction is based on a feeling, on EMOTIONS and not on logical stuff and rational thinking, that's BORING. So I always avoid talking logical stuff and constantly involve emotions, throw in some humor here and there, tease her about her answer in the next message, and so on.

A final IMPORTANT thing to do is: always make sure YOU are having fun as well, because if you're not enjoying yourself while learning how to meet and date women online, then why do it in the first place?

>>> How To Meet Women Online: The Biggest Time Wasters You Should AVOID At All Costs

There are billions and billions of Internet sites on the Web, and it's easy to get lost in the endless sea of dot coms, dot orgs and whatever else is out there. When you're meeting women online, it's much the same: flashy profiles, not being able to tell the forest from the trees, and more. In fact, the general male public DROWNS in the endless number of possible women to message and sites to join, and it's time to separate the good from the bad and the ugly.

I'm talking about how to make sure you're not unnecessarily WASTING time online, because it's easy to get distracted, consume time because of indecision and other wastes of time and energy. So I'd like to give you THREE tips that will SAVE you all the time you'll need to meet and date the women of your choice.

Tip #1: Don't Message Women With Only One Photo: I see a sea of dumb & dumberers message women with only one photo every day, and I wonder why they don't realize it ISN'T a smart thing to do. Think about: if a woman only uploads ONE photo of herself for the world to see on her profile, you can bet that she will upload the absolute best photo she can find, probably the best one ever made.

Why? Pure LOGIC. If you can only fire one shot at the enemy when you're at war, of course you'll fire the best atom bomb you can find and not some random, squeeky spear that breaks in half during flight.

A woman will pick the one photo that will show her from the best angle, and what this means is that she can only DISAPPOINT you in real life because it's only a matter of time before you'll see her from a different angle than the best one. Duh.

When a woman has MULTIPLE photos on her profile on the other hand, you can COMPARE the best ones with the worst ones and you'll have a pretty good idea of what she REALLY looks like. When that doesn't disappoint, you can go for it.

Conclusion: women with multiple photos tend to disappoint way less often than women with one photo because you can compare, so do yourself a favor and don't get too excited about the girl with one photo.

Tip #2: Check Out When She Was Last Online: I can understand how you would chase skirts all over the place because there are just so damn many women online, but that's a BIG MISTAKE.

You see, there are 'lots of women who HAVEN'T been online for a while. When it's for one to two weeks, then it's okay because women DO have a life just like us you know. Plus, they could also be on vacation. But when a woman hasn't been online for 3 weeks up to several months? Take a hint, friend: why would she ever be online tomorrow when she wasn't interested in checking out her profile today, or yesterday?

You can forget it, because chances are she has either lost interest in the site OR has forgotten all about it when she hasn't been on for 3 weeks or more, so SKIP all women that were last online more than 3 weeks ago.

Why? Do the math: say it takes you 5 minutes to write a message and you spend one hour a day on messaging women, that's 12 messages a day. What would happen if you would just randomly message women all week without looking at that last online thingie? Since the average active versus inactive rate on any site is about 50%, that would mean you're WASTING 3 to 5 hours per week, that's 42 messages sent for NOTHING, pal!

Most men never realize this, so imagine the consequences on a larger timescale: it's WASTING 182 hours (or 2184 messages!) every year that you're online, hours you COULD have spend on messaging women that do check out their profile regularly.

Tip #3: Don't Stall, Hit-And-Run! When I give any of my male friends a computer, let them sign up for a profile on some random social network and then ask them to send a message to 20 women, what do they do?

- They check out her photos

- They read her descriptions

- They see who she's friends with

- They read her comments

- They read her interests

- They check out the videos or audio she has on her profile

In other words: they read her ENTIRE profile, and it's a waste of time because when you're meeting women online, you don't HAVE to talk about everything on her profile. So you go in, pay attention to what matters, and then you move on.

Since 99% of the messages women receive are about their looks (messages like: you're so pretty, is heaven missing an angel and so on), see if she's cute of course but THEN talk to her about who she IS, not how she looks.

How? The easiest way is her INTERESTS: what does she like to do? What are her passions, her hobbies, her sports, her likes? Then pick the one you can easily talk about, give it a twist and TEASE her with it. If she likes pasta for example, I playfully tease her by asking her if she's a wannabe mobster and how do I know her uncle isn't called The Don.

And next! So I enter the profile, see if she's cute, see when she was last online, see her interests, message her about the one I can tease her the easiest with, and I'm gone. No video, no audio, no scrolling through all her friends, no comment spying or reading every word on her profile-- I read what I can use, use it, and I'm out. Another BLUNDER the vast majority of men make is that even when they AREN'T distracted by all the fancy stuff on a woman's profile, they hang around WAY too long.

Say the girl just doesn't HAVE something on her profile you can work with or you don't have any inspiration. Maybe her hobbies are all boring, maybe you can't think of anything. Then DON'T go and try to FORCE a message out of yourself by making some comment about volleyball, because even if she replies the first time you'll bite the dust at second base buddy.

Of course ALL profiles will be challenging to work with at first and you'll get more creative over time. I'm not saying you should SKIP all profiles that present you with a challenge, I'm saying go for it when you can think of something in 10 minutes and LEAVE when you can't.

Don't worry, you'll get better over time, but don't be like the rest of the guys out there that spend 30 minutes on messaging one woman because they just HAVE to meet her-- can't think of something? Don't make it too hard for yourself and say: neeext!

>>> How to Meet Women Online: The Overlooked Secrets of Social Network Profiles

You want to know something funny? There are several million, no TENS OF MILLIONS of men trying to meet and date women online, and it's the same number for men who are trying to do that on Facebook, MySpace or Bebo, and on and on.

In all the time I've been meeting and dating women on the internet via around 11 different, social networking sites, I've discovered an amazing secret that seems so obvious but eludes so many of us.

You see, 99% of the men online use only ONE THIRD of the full potential of their profiles, while the remaining two thirds only SERIOUSLY INJURE the chances of them ever achieving success. And that's when they're knowing what they're doing with that one third of potential, or things are sure to get even WORSE for them (how does RUINING your chances online forever and ever sound?)

But What's The Cause Of This Mass Murdering Of The Chance To Get A Date Via The Internet, By So Many Men?

It's NOT using all the areas of your profile that are available to you, because you either:

- DON'T know they EXIST, or:

- DON'T know how to USE them

On social network sites like MySpace, there are EIGHT profile areas (and them I'm grouping some into one BIG area) you can use to MULTIPLY the amount of women who will message YOU first, and to MAXIMIZE the effect of the messages you reply to so you'll have more women eagerly awaiting your reply than you can handle.

And the brutal truth is: the vast majority of males who are looking to get a date on the Web are only using THREE of these profile areas and, if they DO know about other profile areas, they DON'T know how to use them to create attraction.

Do you understand what this means?

It means that the majority of their profile (2/3 or 66%) is WASTED SPACE and if the other three areas are well done (and they almost never are), the huge amounts of wasted space will SABOTAGE their attempts at meeting women. I highly recommend you check out the profiles of other MEN after reading this, just so you'll see how much they SUCK (so you'll know how much women you can meet when you do it right because other men don't stand a chance against your profile).

And it means that you, IF you know what these profile areas are and how to insanely improve them so not even a tenth of an inch of space on your profile is wasted because EVERYTHING is designed to create attraction, that you'll have an unfair advantage over every single rival for as long as you keep your profile up there! Let alone the effects on the number of messages you'll receive (think a TENFOLD increase in very interested responses from women)

Let's dig in:

The Hidden 8 Hidden Profile Areas That Will Seriously BOOST The Number Of Conversations With Hot Women

You'll Have Online A.S.A.P.

1. PHOTOS: She'll look at your photos FIRST, because a picture will tell er so much more then just some words..plus it tells her if you're cute or not. You can use them to let her know: she has competition (photos of you & other women), that you are a REAL guy and not some guy who's trying to be smooth (photos of you & family or friends), that you have a sense of class & style (your wardrobe and the people you hang out with on your photos, etc.), and more...see my other topic in this board for some more worldclass tips.

Things to do:

- Show her you're a desirable man with options, who she'll have to fight for and who's comfortable around women: include 2 photos of you hanging out with cute women

- Don't try to be mister smooth and show women you're a real person, a people's person: include a photo of you and family, and 1 of you and friends

- Make her desire to join your exciting life: include some photos of you on vacation, traveling, or in beautiful settings (sunset, in front of a waterfall, etc.)

- Smile, once upon a time there was this little research project where women were given photos of two guys, one smiling and the other with a straight face, and asked which one was more attractive...guess what? The smiling bald guy won from the straight faced guy that still had hair

2. DESCRIPTIONS: The area where you can talk freely about yourself, women watch HOW you talk about closely to find out who you are: it shows them if you're confident, if you're exciting or just some boring guy, if you're attractive or a total wussy, or a needy guy, etc. From your descriptions she can tell whether or not you have standards and an exciting life she would like to join.

Things to do:

- Don't be boring...and use humor in your descriptions, use some emoticons (those :P and (A) and :) thingies, as they add EMOTIONAL impact, hence the name) and EMPHASIZE some words to again give everything you say more IMPACT

- Tell about crazy experiences, wild adventures or your greatest passions and talk about it VIVIDLY: no I went to A, B and C but sensory details (how the setting smelled, sounded, felt, the colors and shapes) and emotional drama (how did you feel: anxious, happy, sad, enthusiastic, delighted, in love, etc.). Why? Because it lets her imagine it like she's there herself, which makes it compelling to talk to you more..because you tell such great stories

3. COMMENTS: This is the area where a woman can see how OTHER people talk about you, which tells her if you're a social guy who's comfortable around women (and not some nervous introvert), whether she has competition (making her jealous and want to fight for you), if you have fun and an exciting life and so forth.

Things to do:

- Women receive 30 to 50 messages from men PER DAY, but only a handful of comments per week, so don't hesitate to drop a comment and see what happens, because you'll stand out MUCH faster and standing out online among millions of competitors is half the victory Mr. Reader

- Let other women happily chat away in your comment area and do the same in theirs: it lets other women know they have competition and that you're a desirable man..(and I don't have to tell you how jealousy can rush things ahead because she just HAS to have you all to herself, do I?)

4. INTERESTS: What you like and dislike, it's the standard yes/no kinda questions on your profile, which she'll have a look at to see if you have things in common. But there are cool things you can do with interests to create massive amounts of curiosity and attraction. Things to do Don't be a good boy and fill in everything with boring crap, use humor like this:

- Hobbies: baseball, going out, crocodile wrestling, movies.

I call this technique the odd one out (remember that childhood game?), and you can use it to make her laugh, to be outrageous or even slight naughty (Hobbies: working out, mountainbiking, posing for the Playgirl)

5. GROUPS: Social networks have all kinds of groups (like the Asian Corner group and the Latino Pride group or whatever), and being a member not only allows you to talk to a woman easier (by talking about a common interest-- the group you two are in) and there are many other ways too: forums, blogs of someone else (or yourself), etc.

Things to do:

- List every single place you've ever gone to school or worked. This will make it a lot easier for people who have known you in the past to find you on Facebook or MySpace etc. Also, when class reunions come up, you'll be invited! It's also easy to look for women who went there and easily start a conversation about it because you have something in common (it's meeting women in college, AFTER college now you're don't have to deal with puberty anymore)

- Join groups of your hobbies, likes, passions and activities, because having fun conversations with women who SHARE your passions is so easy, a baby could do it

6. FRIENDS: Friends can tell a lot about a guy: how open minded he is (does the NYC guy only know New Yorkers or other people too? do you have black, latino or whatever nationality friends too?) and being open minded equals spontaneity, which women love. If you have female friends you can use that to let a woman know you have options, to create jealousy, competition, and there's lots more!

Things to do:

- Let them know you're a confident, open minded and desirable man...and have some female friends to create jealousy, have friends from all walks of life to show that you've been to places and are a REALLY social guy (this is social proof: that you have a life of your own and that you're comfortable around other people, and women)

- The girl you sent a message has female friends you probably wouldn't find on your own because they set their profiles to visible to friends only or live in the smallest towns that you didn't even know existed, so why not message them too? Her male friends (and yours too) also know women you won't find that easily, why not message them too?

7. MEDIA: Sure you can put music or videos of Mortal Kombat, Star Wars, bloody violence and death metal bands on your profile, but the fact of the matter is: that's not what compells most women to find out more about you. Outrageous videos do attract women however, funny videos do too, r&b music does that as well, and so forth.

Things to do:

Show a hottie that you're a trendy guy who stays current, that you know what women like and that you have good taste, and include some r&b, soul or nice & slow pop on your profile playlist. Why? Because women love a trendsetter, and a man who knows what they like.

8. DESIGN: Women like a man with a sense of style, with good taste..and a profile that looks better than just plain black & white simply compells women LESS than a profile with a cool background, a nice design, etc.

Things to do:

Use contrasting colors to make sure women can read EVERYTHING you have to say (plus, don't overdo the happy happy factor with bright yellow OR the I'm as despressed as people can get look with gray and black).

>>> How To Meet Women Online: 2 Powerful Strategies For Finding Women Time After Time

Everybody knows that practice makes perfect, so when I started with the whole online dating thing, I knew I needed to write a LOT of friggin' messages if I wanted to know what type of messages worked and which ones didn't. For men 50+ it can be a hard road.

At first, it seemed kinda cool: if this beautiful girl doesn't reply, I'll just write another one until someone DOES reply and I can meet and date her. But after a while, I messaged all the women aged 20 to 24 in my city and still didn't have much success, maybe some phone numbers but NO dates yet. Then I started messaging women in my age group that lived in another city, got a couple of dates, wanted more, and continued messaging women.

And when I finally knew what I was doing online, I had a MAJOR dilemma: how do I message women if I already messaged ALL the cute ones that won't take me longer then an hour to travel to them?

I'm talking about the end of the road here: what do you do if there seem to be no more search results?

SAVE your search criteria every time you search for women to send a message to, and I'll tell you why.

1. Because Of How A Woman's Profile Inbox Works: An attractive woman, on average, receives dozens of messages a day, around 50 to be exact. Meanwhile, ANY given inbox page can contain 25 up to 30 messages. Do you understand what this means? It means that EVERY day, around 20 messages end up on Page 2, but do women want to read page 2? No.

Why? Because 99% of the messages women receive are predictable, lame, boring, needy and desperate or cheezy. Here are some examples:

- You're gorgeous, add me on blabla@hotmail.com (needy, why would she add a total stranger that drools all over her looks?)

- Is heaven missing an angel? Because you sure look like one! (cheezy, why would a woman who actually has a brain fall for THE most used pick-up line ever?)

Imagine you would receive 50 messages just like the above ones, EVERY day. Would you even bother reading the 20th message? No you won't. You'll be bored, annoyed or disgusted long before that, meaning that all the messages AFTER about the 20th one might as well never be sent because no one's reading.

Say you are message number 26 on page 2, then no matter HOW good your message is, your message will probably NEVER be read simply because of the numbers game I explained above. Seems like a MAJOR bummer doesn't it?

But it ISN'T-- it means that when you know how to communicate with women online, that the vast majority of women who NEVER reply to your message ACCIDENTLY didn't reply. And when you SAVE your search criteria and repeat the exact same search 2 to 3 weeks later, and message the women who didn't reply, guess what happens?

New day, new chances buddy: I guarantee you that there will be women who didn´t reply before, who WILL reply NOW because of the numbers game. All of a sudden, your enormous source of search results, e.g., the Internet, will NEVER run dry!

2. Because Of The Mister Me Too Effect: There are around a hundred dating sites and probably even more social networks online in the US alone, and us humans follow the herd more than we think: if a MILLION people have a MySpace profile then hey, MySpace MUST be good so if I'll ever join a social network, I should join THAT one. The mister me too effect.

This gives you a HUGE advantage when you're meeting and dating women online, especially in the long run. Think about it: around 100 new people sign up for a fairly mediocre site every single day, and when we don't discriminate and say half of those are women, then there are 350 new women on an average site every week! Imagine how much new ones there are on the "Big Boys" such as MySpace, Facebook and Match.com.

There's a big impact for your search results: when you save your search criteria and get back to them 2 to 3 weeks later, there will be AT LEAST 700 to 1050 new women on the site you're on. Consider this: most have age groups you search for (<18, 18-24, etc.) and there are about 7 of these age groups, guess what this means? A 100 to 150 new women for you to meet and date, that are about the SAME age you are!

But WAIT--there's more: because new women haven't been on there that long, they have been bothered by LESS men and their lame, boring, and cheezy messages before (and are thus more OPEN to meeting men). Next to this, they're harder to find (because everyone SKIPS search criteria after searching for them once, remember?) AND harder to message (because a new woman's profile is mostly EMPTY or almost empty-- which gives a guy less to work with). There you go: 3 reasons for why it's MUCH easier to meet and date new women than the ladies who've been on the site for some time now.

Don't you feel stupid for not having saved your search criteria before? I know I did when I realized these things. But if you didn't know before I guess you know now, and be sure to save those criteria my friend.

==>> Dennis Miedema is the owner of Win With Women, a web site and blog, dedicated to coaching and mentoring men on the art of dating women. He may be contacted at http://www.win-with-womenblog.com. "I decided it was time for some humor by sharing with you my serious and not so serious thoughts on meeting classy women, meeting sophisticated women, artsy women, or whatever you’d like to call them..."

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Dating for Over 50s Men - Meeting a Hot Woman Your Own Age

Dating for the Over 50 Man - Meeting a Hot Woman Your Own Age - Where to Meet Beautiful Women