Blog - Relationship and Dating Tips & Advice

Female masturbation is still a taboo subject in many families and cultures.

And yet every psychologist is saying that  sexual self-gratification is not only normal, but great for your mental health and wellbeing.

Female Masturbation techniques and best masturbation tips: Here are how a few women describe how they masturbate:

"For me it is important to be mentally aroused to masturbate or fantasize. For me it is also important to be alone -- solo masturbation is important. Use the fingertips to stimulate real, but start with tapping or stroking the general area. By increasing the excitation begins to stimulate the clitoris and finally reached a climax with a rapid movement of the clitoral hood corcoveante. Usually my legs are separated, and occasionally I also stimulate my nipples with the other hand."

"If I'm in a hurry -- pressed for time -- I use the vibrator on the base of the clitoris, with my legs spread. But I usually use my fingers rubbing around the base of my clitoris, and when I am close to orgasm, I move my fingers circular way above my clitoris. My legs are always apart, and I alternate hands because one gets tired. My other hand caresses my breasts, or simply rests. And I twist my body around a lot when I have an orgasm."

"Wow!  What a question!  I usually lie on my back, my legs apart. Almost always leave my underwear on, because it bothers me to rub the clitoris directly. Use one hand, two fingers together, rubbing up and down with a touch short just above my clitoris. When I am near climax, my legs tend to open up my pelvis and more. I do not move much, but sometimes during climax I roll from side to side."

"I use my hands and my imagination, and you have probably tried every imaginable position and movement -- the basic pacing remains the same. Use my finger to stimulate the clitoris, sometimes inserting another finger in my vagina at the same time. When I masturbate touch only my genital area, because it encourages me to touch my body in general, as does my partner if I have any."

"I use a simple vibrator with batteries. Usually I apply it to the right side of my clitoris, using a light circular motion. I start with my legs open, but usually close them involuntarily. I think what happens in my mind (who I fantasize about) is really more important than the mechanics."

These female masturbation stories just reflect the techniques of a few women.  TV shows like Sex and the City have brought female masturbation into pop culture, but real women haven't quite caught on. A recent study by University of Indiana researchers found that around 20% of females have masturbated in the past month, and 40% in the past year. Comparatively, anywhere from 27-68% of males reported masturbating within the past month, depending on their age.

Contrary to popular stereotypes, females aren't less sexual than males - they're just not encouraged to explore their bodies the same way men are. How many films joke about adolescent boys masturbating? (American Pie was even titled after that special scene!) Growing up, I didn't even know other girls masturbated, but I sure knew boys did! Some women just need a little encouragement feeling good about being sexual. Read on for reasons to like female masturbation:

(1) Female masturbation helps females have orgasms. In a survey by sex educators Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, eighty eight percent of women who masturbated could climax as opposed to only forty eight percent of females who did not masturbate.

In the same survey, they found women feel its easier to orgasm through masturbation more than any other way - including intercourse, oral sex, and fingering. Sex is more than just orgasm, of course, and you can have awesome sex without it. But to state the obvious, orgasms are fun, and one of the most enjoyable physical feelings we can have. Use female masturbation to practice coming while alone.

(2) If you have a significant other, you'll have more enjoyable partner sex them. If you don't know what you like, don't expect anyone else to. Unlike romantic movies, males don't always know how to touch the female body. Good sex requires communication, and to communicate you must have something to say!

Some people think masturbation is only for single people, or that its an insult to their partner. On the contrary! If your significant other is uncomfortable, let them know your female masturbation will mean better sex for them too. Experimenting with a significant other is fun, but you'll be disappointed if you depend on them for your only sexual outlet. Even soulmates have different desires, preferences, and sex drives. When you're in touch with your sexuality and share that with your partner, you'll have more pleasure and greater intimacy. Female masturbation will enhance your relationship.

(3) That old saying - love yourself first before anyone else can really love you. Female masturbation is physical self-love, as woo-woo as that sounds. Like a good diet, exercising, and relaxing -- masturbation is another need to take care of your body. Western culture makes women feel particularly bad about their bodies, where we're targets of violence simply for being women. Making female masturbation a priority communicates to yourself that sexual pleasure is important. All alone you can experiment with your desires safely and enliven that part of yourself that desires a more fulfilled life. Female masturbation can result in higher self-esteem, which will also affect your work and family life.

As masturbation proponent Betty Dodson says, "masturbation IS sex." So often we're focused on our relationships that we forget about exploring ourselves. Make love, fuck, play with yourself - however you say it, female masturbation means better sex and a happier life.

Even though female masturbation is common, normal, and healthy, many women don't feel comfortable. Sex researchers Edward O. Laumann et al. find that about 1/2 of women and men who masturbate feel guilty. They state, "Masturbation has the peculiar status of being both highly stigmatized and fairly commonplace."

Women explore their bodies less than men because they are not encouraged to be as sexual. Masturbation can help you love your body, feel happier and more fulfilled. Read on for three tips on overcoming guilt and shame about female masturbation, so you can have the sex you want and deserve.

(1) Understand that truth about masturbation.

Female masturbation is as healthy for you as eating your fruits and vegetables. According to sex educators Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms, and orgasm more easily from masturbation than any other sex act. Females who masturbate to orgasm have more orgasms with their partners.

Female masturbation lowers stress, increases relaxation, and even helps menstrual cramps. You will have more sexual pleasure, less risk of incontinence, and easier childbirth by using the pubecoccal (PC) muscles, the ones that quiver and contract during orgasm. Since you can't get pregnant or give yourself an STD, female masturbation is the safest sex on the planet!

(2) Identify the beliefs you hold about masturbation and sex more generally. Humans are naturally social - we learn from each other and can pick up one another's values without realizing..

We learn how to be from many places - family, religion, and the media are just a few. You may have learned that masturbation is sinful, addictive, for men only, or that only sluts, whores, and nymphomaniacs practice female masturbation.

Our experiences also shape sexual beliefs, especially physical, mental, or emotional trauma. Being caught masturbating, sexual abuse, a bad trip to the gynecologist, or even having your sexual secrets told can reinforce negative beliefs about sex and female masturbation.

(3) Banish negative beliefs and instead create positive ones. Dream up your ideal sex life, and imagine how your body would feel, how you would masturbate, and what you might fantasize about if you felt free to indulge. Don't just think about it, but relax and FEEL what this reality would be like.

Create an affirmation for yourself that reflects one aspect of your ideal sex life. Sure, its cheesy, but go with it. If you're like me, you talk crap to yourself everyday, so choosing ONE nice thing isn't too unreasonable, right?. Try these on for size: I love my body, I am free, masturbation is awesome, I am safe, I am sexy, I love myself.

Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, affirmations change your reality. The mind likes to be congruent with your behavior. When you repeat your affirmation and feel that reality in your body, the mind will automatically work to make it come true. You may observe yourself behaving differently, liking masturbation more than usual.

It might feel silly, because you probably won't believe it yet. That's fine, it'll come in time. Say it to yourself - preferably aloud (a whisper is better than nothing) - once in the morning and throughout the day. Repeat it before or during masturbation and remind yourself why you're there.

You might feel overwhelmed at first, and your sex life won't change overnight. You'll benefit most if you pair mind AND body healing at the same time. Over time, you'll heal your guilt and shame over female masturbation, you'll have a more fun and intimate sex life overall.