No longer a watering hole strictly for 20- and 30somethings, the online dating world is increasingly attracting an older set. According to research firm IBISWorld, baby boomers now represent about 20% of online daters, and growing: The number of online dating site users 50 or older jumped 8% from February 2010 to February 2011, compared to a 4% overall, according to research firm comScore.
In response, the $1.9 billion online dating industry has developed several sites specifically for older Americans, including SeniorPeopleMeet.com, SilverSingles.com and OurTime.com, which IAC (the owner of Match.com) launched last month.
Why so eager to play the online field? As the divorce rate for older Americans climbs, so does the number of potential singles. While the overall divorce rate has decreased slightly over the past 20 years, it has doubled for those over 50, according to the latest data from the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University -- leaving many seniors single and available.
At the same time, internet use overall has tripled for older Americans in the past 10 years, according to the Pew Internet Project, and the stigma of online dating is significantly lower than it was even a few years ago, experts say. And since it can be harder for boomers to meet new people than it is for younger adults (college parties, weddings, clubs), it's only natural older Americans are turning to online dating, says Dr. Gian Gonzaga, senior director of research and development for eHarmony.com.
The pitfalls of online dating hold no matter what your age: weeding through profiles is exhausting, people are less-than-honest in their self-representation, and everyone's ideas about dating and commitment vary. But for older Americans, there are additional challenges, say experts.
For one, many sites allow you to filter by age. That means you might not get to meet that potential soul mate simply because he or she filtered out everyone over 50 (or 60). Many older Americans may be less aware of the risks of courting people over the web simply because they've been out of the dating world for a while or don't have a lot of friends who have experience with it, says Dr. Leanna Wolfe, an L.A.-based sexologist. "You can get lulled into a false sense of knowing someone by chatting with them online, and then may be more willing to go out onto a date with them that isn't in the safest place," says Wolfe.
On top of all that, Internet dating can be pricey. Annual memberships can cost $50 per month or more. And that's not counting the actual cost of dating. Roughly 60% of men spend more than $50 per date during the first few weeks of dating someone new, and 65% of women spend $50 or more on clothing and grooming to get ready, according to a recent survey by Match.com.
Those costs are even higher in big cities and other expensive regions of the country. For example, Denver men spend an average $221 on a first date the highest of any of the 45 cities surveyed recently by WhatsYourPrice, an online dating site. Seattle men spend the second most ($197), followed by guys from Dallas/Ft. Worth ($178).
Thankfully, for those older Americans interested in trying Internet dating, there are a few strategies for mitigating those hefty costs:
Start with a freebie
One way to dip your toes in the online dating pool is to join a free online dating site, such as SeniorPassions.com, which serves only older Americans, PlentyofFish.com and OKCupid.com. The catch: Some free sites tend to be hard to navigate and search for potential matches, and are filled with distracting ads, says Sandy Weiner, dating coach and owner of dating consulting company Last First Date. Seniors can start by comparing options at NextAdvisor.com, which reviews online dating services.
Most paid sites for seniors, such as SeniorFriendFinder.com and OurTime.com, also offer free trials of their services. Boomers can shop around by signing up for a few free plans to determine which site fits them best, says LaVonya Reeves, the founder of online dating site ReboundLovers.com. Lastly, most dating sites regular run specials for discount memberships, says Weiner. "These usually happen around the holidays and change of seasons, and if you've created a free profile on one of the sites, they'll email you these offers."
For more details on saving on online dating memberships, click here.
Go slow
It's tempting to read someone's profile, shoot them a couple emails and jump right to the date. But one tactic that can save time and money is getting to know a potential date better before taking them out, says Aljolynn Sperber, an account executive at an L.A. PR firm and a regular online dater. Along with a few phone calls, Ms. Sperber recommends setting up a "Skype date" or video chat in order to see your match in person first. "It helps you get a better sense of the person than just messaging or even taking on the phone with them does," she says. (You can also see if the profile picture matches the person).
Skype sound like something only your 25-year-old daughter does? Here's an easy demonstration on how it works. You only need a laptop, computer or iPad with a video camera (most new personal computers have them) and an Internet connection.
Be cheap (really)
If you're looking to pinch pennies, using a coupon on a date might not be the kiss of death. Half of women say they're ok with a date paying using a coupon, according to a survey by Match.com. Roughly the same percentage say they don't care how much their date spends (though just 5% were ok with him spending nothing). That said, an older man might be expected to spend a little bit more on a date because he's presumed to be more financially secure, than, say, a guy in his 20s, experts say. Splitting the bill in another matter. For older women, going halfsies sometimes implies that he's more interested in friendship than romance, says Wolfe.
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