Many benefits can be attributed to successful long term relationships. However any successful relationship is not immune from losing its spark when it comes to passion, romance and sex. But if you're prepared to put in the effort, here's how you can regain that fire.
* Face it - sex is not like it used to be!
Our relationships expert, Diane Brimmer writes "When the sex leaves a relationship, it's very common for either person to resent their partner, but this is very much a two way street and keeping physical closeness fresh must become an integral part of a couples routine which requires....wait for it.....EFFORT....yes effort, it simply won't happen by itself".
* Don't close the communication lines - don't make that mistake
We hear it all the time - communicate, communicate. When a couple stops talking about an issue that is obviously affecting something so important such as romance and sex, your relationship is simply marking time before a break up occurs, or you remain together through habit, but end up living in two different worlds.
Being forthcoming about such problems is difficult, especially if an extended period of time has past without having any discussions about sexual desires. Our relationships guru, Diane, also goes on to say "It's about breaking the ice again, choosing the right way to broach the subject, a new environment is the perfect place to start, take the conversation out of the house to unfamiliar territory, share a bottle of wine or go for a swim at the beach, do something fun you will be so surprised how affective a casual approach to dealing with such problems can be."
* Yes, it's okay to plan for sex!
Set the mood in advance, after a long work day it's understandable that he or she isn't feeling all perky and erotic. So, try going to bed half an hour earlier, and set your alarm to go off earlier...Surprise sex in the morning is also a great way to make your partner go off! And that way you both start the day in a satisfied and happy way.
You can also try setting the mood during the day to intensify sexual desire, by sending an erotic text message - sexting - or phone call. Send an email that you know she will find inviting. It doesn't even have to be overly sexual, send her chocolates and flowers - then see what happens ;)
* Stop not having fun there's no pressure!
Don't put yourself under unnessarary pressure. You don't need to make heaven AND earth move whenever there is sex, this just sets you up for disappointment. Next time you do in fact have some spare time to dedicate to making love, you don't need to perform like a rock star, instead enjoy each other by undressing each other and taking a bath or shower together. Sex doesn't always have to be about the mechanical nature of a sexual act.
Sex isn't going to be mind blowing each and every time so avoid too much pressure. Truthfully, your sex life shouldn't be compared to every television love scene you see, because you are living in the real world not fantasy.
Use some of our ideas to help things along, and more importantly, build on our suggestions and be creative with your sex lives. Routine sex happens to all of us, but the key is to break that routine from time to time.
- By Matt Fuller - focusing on dating lifestyles & providing singles dating sites - all about new relationships - Matt Fuller is a full time online dating webmaster and author of Free online dating sites Australia. To read more articles by this author and go to his website - Click Here! for expert advice regarding online dating. Meet new and exciting people online. Matt Fuller supplies article services for his free online dating singles sites. The website also offers its members free online dating sites - Hookmeup Dating services - to simply register, type in your postcode to find your match.
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Posted at: 11:53 AM
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