Adult Dating: Sex and the Online Dating Profile

>>> Selecting an Online Dating Site 

With so many online dating sites popping up, singles these days are spoiled with a wealth of choice. Figuring out how to filter through the deluge can be tricky, but every day there are online daters meeting their match or hooking up for unforgettable encounters. Why should you miss out on all the fun? Taking the time to research and explore what's available will let you find the service that gives you what you want (and at a cost that suits your budget).

Here are some tips for selecting the perfect dating site for you.

Know what you want: Well, what is it that you want? In online dating, this is the big question, and once you've answered it, you can narrow your search and pinpoint which dating sites are best for you. Are you looking for a serious relationship? A true love? Or do you want to test out the Kama Sutra with a new single every night? There's no right answer, but knowing which option appeals to you more will help focus your search.

Do you have a special interest or niche: Apart from what sort of relationships you'd like to have, you might find it helpful to consider if there is something unique you're seeking. Are you looking for another single with the same religion, culture, upbringing, fetish or hobby (maybe someone who's as crazy about windsurfing as you)? You might want to look for a dating service specializing in your particular desire, as this should increase your possible matches.

Do your research: Any random Internet search will show you that there are hundreds of dating sites to choose from. Narrowing them down (if your interests and needs haven't already) may require some effort on your part. A good way to start may be to Google for articles reviewing dating sites, or listing the most popular services. Remember that just because a site is popular, or that if has many members, does not mean it is right for you. There are many options available, so don't settle until you've found the one you're comfortable with.

Ask around: Once you've made a shortlist of sites that appeal to you, ask around for singles that might have already tried the services. There is nothing more reliable than hearing about another member's experiences and opinions. If you can't find someone to talk to, be on the lookout for message board postings that may give you an insight into the pros and cons of each site.

Know your budget: Because every dating site has a different billing policy and price, take the time to figure out what you can afford, and what you're paying for exactly. Read any "About Us" or "FAQ" sections before joining anything, and do a search to see if anything positive or negative has been reported about this site before. If finances are a problem, there are free services as well (including social networking sites like MySpace or Facebook). Keep in mind though that free dating sites generally offer much less in the way of customer support, features and member protection.

Take advantage of the trial: Most of the larger, more respected online dating sites offer trials of various length and price. It is a good idea to sign-up for these, as you can then compare between features (like instant message, chat, voice or video options), services and value for money. Make sure to carefully read all the terms and conditions though, as you don't want to get stuck paying for a membership you didn't want. Comparing design and usability is also a good idea, as ultimately, you want a service that is both easy to use and easy on the eye.

Customer support: Because so many dating sites are similar, the details make the biggest difference. Customer support might not be the thing that first comes into your mind when you think online dating, but good customer care can greatly improve your experience on a site. Problems can always occur, so do what you can to determine whether or not someone will respond to requests for help promptly and helpfully.

It's ok to use more than one: If money is not an issue (or if you simply want to increase your chances at finding a perfect match), consider using more than dating site at a time. Doing so will give you a bigger pool from which to fish out a true love. Some singles have found success using this multi-pronged approach simultaneously, while others have tried using multiple sites on a rotating basis. Which method works best is for you to decide, but know that there are no rules written in stone when selecting and using an online dating site.

With so many dating service options out there for today's single, selecting a site is in many ways like finding your true love! Knowing what you want, what you can afford and what makes you feel most comfortable is the easiest way to narrow down the list. Trust yourself, take the time to do some research, and above all else, have fun.

>>> Researching an online dating site.  

Sifting through the hundreds of online dating options can be a difficult and confusing task. How can you tell which one is right for you? Narrowing down your options (if any specific interests haven't already) may require some effort on your part, so don't be afraid to take the time to research each site before making any commitments. Remember that just because a site is popular, or that if has many singles, does not mean it is right for you. There are so many available that you don't have to settle until you've found one you're comfortable with.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when researching an online dating site.

Ask around: The single most effective way to find the online dating site best suited for you is to speak directly with people who have used the services. If you're lucky enough to know someone with Internet dating experience, ask them as many questions as possible about their experience. Which site did they use? What did they like about it? What did they dislike? Have they heard anything about other sites? If you don't know anyone you can talk to, look for message boards that relate to dating. Most often you'll be able to read the points of views of other singles, as well as pose your own questions. Use the net: A good way to start your search is to find out which online dating sites have the best reputation. Apart from the aforementioned message boards, you can find this out with some crafty Google or Yahoo searching. Look for website reviews or industry related articles detailing new advances and features. Often, you may also be able to find lists detailing the most popular services. This is not a foolproof method, it may be a good idea to start your research with the most renowned and respected services and go from there.

How long have they been around?: While many new sites pop up every day, you may have better luck starting with dating sites that have been around the longest. Most often these are the services that have an established customer support system, as well as a larger database of singles. Take some time to read the "FAQ" and "About Us" sections of each website you go to, as well as any information you may find from other sites. The more you know before you start, the better you'll be able to judge what is the best value for your money.

Take full advantage of trials: Many online dating sites offer trial memberships with which you can get your feet wet before jumping into the pool. These are invaluable tools when trying to find a dating site that suits your needs. To avoid later confusion, make sure to read the service's entire terms and conditions before starting a trial. From there do what you can to try every feature the service has to offer. Test out its customer support, the ease you have browsing and contacting people, and whether or not you find a good amount of people in your area.

Design and features: Knowing what you want and what you like is obviously the best possible foundation for successfully finding an online dating site. Ideally you want a service that is both easy on the eye and easy to use and understand. Do you prefer corresponding by email or chatting? Do you like talking over a webcam? Or maybe you'd enjoy scrolling through profiles that have voice recordings? Every online dating website offers something different, so take the time to figure out which package of features suits your needs best.

How does it compare? Rank them: Once you've done your online research and have tried various dating sites' trial memberships, you should have a clearer idea of what appeals to you. If you still have a hard time deciding though, try making a chart comparing the pros and cons of everything you've tried. Rank them from the most enjoyable to the least and use that to make your decision. Remember, no one says you have to stick to just one, so don't worry about using multiple services if you find that useful.

Value for Money: Because every dating service has a different billing policy and price, finances have to be a part of your decision. Aside from the membership costs, make sure you take the time to understand exactly what your subscription gets you, as well as how often and when you get billed. If money is an issue, there are always free dating sites you can visit (as well as social networking sites like MySpace or Facebook). Keep in mind though that free dating sites generally offer much less in the way of customer support, features and member protection.

With so many online dating sites vying for singles these days, it's no wonder why some people have trouble finding one. Taking the time to research your options before joining anything though will help you avoid any feelings of disappointment or frustration that may come with a bad choice. It will also ensure that the online search for the love of your life is as comfortable an experience as possible.

>>> Online Dating Etiquette. 

So, are you really ready to take the online dating plunge? Sure, you've found a site that suits you, and have started posting your pictures and creating your photo profile, but do you really know how you're supposed to act? There are no real written rules in online dating, but success (and enjoyment) is based entirely on you. If you start with a negative attitude, treating people rudely along the way, odds are good you will receive the same (if not worse) in turn. Carrying yourself properly then is the key to a successful, and fun experience online.

Here then is some online dating etiquette.

Leave fear and self-consciousness behind: Feelings of fear and self-consciousness are normal whenever you put yourself up for judgement in new environments. However, if not kept in check these sentiments can mushroom into negative habits that will only hurt your chances for love later on. Always remember that you are not alone in your online dating adventure, and that every available single you encounter has at some point dealt with similar emotions. Embrace what you fear, and focus on being as optimistic and courteous as you can. Keep in mind that those who are most positive are usually those who are the most attractive.

Do on to others...: The major rule of online dating etiquette is simple and as old as the bible itself. Essentially, you have to treat other singles with the same respect you yourself would like to receive. If every correspondence you have begins with this positive framework in place, you'll help create a caring atmosphere where you may find both your perfect match and scores of online friends. Remember, even if you're not attracted to someone, there are no real wasted correspondences, as at worst, you've made a new friend.

Quality over quantity (being gregarious and fun): It is a good idea to chat with as many people as possible when you start online dating, but try to keep the number of simultaneous chats to a minimum. Even though meeting a lot of new people at once increases your odds of finding a match, keep in mind that the quality of your interactions also goes a long way towards forging a strong and exciting relationship. Do what you can to be talkative, and try to avoid responding in monosyllabic, "yes or no" answers. You may be sizing up other singles, but remember, they are checking you out too!

Ask the right questions at the right time: Because chatting is the name of the game (and because people may not always be what their profiles claim) you can't be afraid to ask questions. Without them, in fact, you'd be hard pressed to find out anything about more than superficialities. Still, it's important to keep the feelings of other singles in mind. For example, it might not always be a good idea to ask personal questions the first time you chat with someone. Certain topics, specifically those relating to former partners or the deaths of loved ones, often need time and a level of trust before being comfortably broached. Use your best judgement, and remember to always apologize if a question offends or bothers someone.

Honesty is the only policy: There is absolutely nothing to gain from ever being dishonest. If you expect to meet a sincere single with similar interests, beliefs and life experiences, do you really think that lying is the best way to achieve this? Dishonesty can both hinder your chances of finding love and cause anger and frustration down the road. Ultimately, misleading people and pretending to be something you're not is self-sabotaging, hurtful and mean.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all: Instigating, mocking and insulting other singles is the easiest way to isolate yourself from the rest of the online dating community. No one likes a bully, and fittingly, acting this way can easily derail any ambitions you have to finding a perfect match. Put simply, if someone does not interest you, look elsewhere and keep your opinion to yourself.

Always stay friendly: If for whatever reason you fail to hit it off with another single, do what you can to keep relations friendly. If you're not interested, it's always best to be upfront about your feelings. Explaining things simply and without negativity will always be appreciated, and it can help foster online friendships. It's also a classy touch to wish people good luck on their search. You may not have been his or her true love, but someone else just might.

Keep nudity and sexual talk to a minimum: Sure, sex is a big part of online dating. No one is denying that, and no one is asking you to hide your sexy side. However, there is a time and place for everything, and keeping sexual talk and imagery to subtle minimums is the classiest and most effective way to highlight your sensuality. Furthermore, overtly forward language and imagery may also open yourself up to those who do not have the best intentions in mind. Have fun, but be careful to pick your spots.

Anything can happen in the exciting world of online dating, but usually your own attitude and behaviour will set the tone for your experience. The Internet strips away a lot of inhibitions, but it should not take away your respect and manners. Remember to treat everyone the best you can, and undoubtedly your search for a perfect match will be a happy one.

>>> Playing the Field in Online Dating. 

In the online dating world, everything your parents ever told you about being faithful goes out the window. It is your one true opportunity to play the field and meet as many singles as possible. The point of online dating may be to find your true match, but you'll never really know who that is unless you exhaust all possibilities. No one's feelings will get hurt; shopping around is the name of the game.

Here then are some tips on how to successfully play the online dating field.

Know what you're looking for, but be open-minded: Just like searching for a job, finding your perfect match involves knowing what it is you're looking for. The trouble is the more you narrow your list, the harder it may be to find someone who is truly right for you. In fact, the most successful online daters are those who are capable of remaining open-minded and even slightly adventurous. Allowing yourself the opportunity to be surprised will not only increase your contacts exponentially, but also the likelihood for love.

Take the time to search: There is never any need to rush on an online dating site (especially if there are millions of profiles!), so take your time and look around. Know that the best way to use a dating site is to be pro-active. Do not wait for other members to find you, be on the look out for people you find attractive. Start with the singles in your immediate region, but also don't be shy to see who's online at any given hour. Looking for people who share similar interests or tastes may be another good approach, but remember to always read a profile carefully in order to make the most of your time.

Always be upfront and honest: It may be out in the open that you are meeting and corresponding with multitudes of singles, but it would still be a good idea to be upfront and honest with everyone you meet. Simply telling a person that you are not interested, or that you are taking the time to meet many people will go a long way towards creating a respectful atmosphere.

Always send personalized emails: One of the best ways to introduce yourself is to send a unique, personalized email asking members if they would like to chat one day. Don't be afraid to be funny, and to talk about yourself. This is your mini-sales pitch, so take your time and send out as many as possible.

Chat, chat, chat: Unlike approaching people in bars or public settings, online dating allows a far easier method of meeting new singles: the chat. Diving right in is the best medicine for those anxious to get started, so once you've looked through some of the available singles and selected those you're interested in, get busy chatting! Looking at a profile, after all, can only get you so far. The more you talk and correspond, the more you'll find out about a person's character.

Finding your perfect match is the name of the game in online dating, but to get to that destination, you need to put yourself out there and meet as many singles as possible. Playing the field is then a necessary part of the online adventure, so have fun with it, chat often, meet many safely, and be lucky in love.

>>> Posting the best possible photo in On-line Dating 

Getting the most out of your online dating experience involves making a real effort to present yourself in the best possible light. Ensuring your photo personal is enticing, enlightening and fun can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be intimidating. It's best to think of your photographs as the extra bait used to attract singles. If done right, they will lead people to you and perfectly compliment what's written in your online profile.

Here are some pointers on creating the best possible photo personal.

Don't be afraid or self-conscious: One thing that's important to remember is that singles all over the world are doing what you are: taking a stab at online dating. There's no need to feel self-conscious or afraid about posting your photographs. It will, in fact, only help you find other singles. To start off, get as large an amount of pictures as possible, and then slowly whittle the list down to a select few. Choose the best one as your profile photo, but keep some others to use as additional photos in your profile.

Never use fake photos: Aside from being dishonest and mean-spirited, using a fake photograph will get you absolutely nowhere. Remember the entire purpose of online dating is for you to meet people who are a good match for you. If you start off your correspondence dishonestly then, how well do you think the rest of the relationship will go? Your potential date will only remember the deception, and the trust required to make a relationship to survive will be lost. It takes a lot for a relationship to recover from this loss of trust. And, your future partner will have no reason to attempt to work through it!

Quality and time sensitivity: Though some singles do go to photographers to get their pictures taken professionally, it isn't necessary to break the bank just to post photos on your online dating profile. What is necessary however is a series of good quality photos that clearly shows off your best features. Avoid relying on web cam stills, or anything that is blurry, out of focus and dark. It's also a good idea to stay clear of pictures that are out of date and no longer relevant. You may have looked good in college, but you have to show people what you look like today.

Highlight the face: When choosing images for your photo personal it's a good idea to focus on pictures that highlight your face. You don't have to stick exclusively to this sort of photo, but having at least one good shot that clearly shows your head and shoulders is the best way to introduce yourself to other singles.

Stay clear of nudity: You may be proud of your Double-D sized breasts or 12-inch penis, but do you really want to put it all over your profile? After you've established contact and got to know other singles, you can always share these types of photographs. Initially though, it may repel more people than it attracts. By posting these types of photos, you may also be opening yourself up to those who do not have good intentions. While some relationships founded on pure physical attraction do work, many do not. It is your responsibility to protect yourself.

Avoid group photos: While it is nice to show people your friends and co-workers, you have to remember that your photo personal is about you. If interested singles have to struggle to see you in a crowd, they might just lose interest. The same goes for photographs of your pets and children. Clearly these are important to share, but it's probably best to save them for after you get to know someone.

Show off your hobbies and interests: If selected wisely, photographs can act as a nice extension to your online dating profile. Finding secondary pictures of yourself enjoying your hobbies is a great way to show people what you like to do, and what sort of person you are. As always, photos that are well lit are best, but don't be afraid to use something less than perfect if it's fun and interesting. It might just work for you.

While there are a lot of things to keep in mind when setting up your photo personal, it shouldn't be overly difficult or intimidating. It's right to be cautious, but there's no reason to be afraid either. In the end the effort you put in to it will determine your success. Did you do your best to make yourself shine? Or did you short-change yourself?

Putting yourself in the shoes of people viewing your profile is a good final tactic to decide whether or not you've made the best possible choice.

>>> Sex and the online dating profile 

When it comes to creating an alluring and sexy online dating profile, balance is always the key. You want to be able show off your best qualities in an honest and approachable way, but it can be a lot of fun providing some sizzle to spark the imagination. Straddling the line between subtle playfulness and over-the-top vulgarity can be tricky of course, but if done right, you are guaranteed to be the life of the online dating party.

Here then are some tips on navigating the potentially stormy waters of sex in online dating.

The removal of inhibition: One of the exciting aspects of online dating is the removal of shyness and inhibition. Singles often feel free to say things they would never utter in person. This can be extremely liberating for many people who struggle in social settings, however, it may also lead to problems (specifically if you portray yourself in a way that can't be lived up to in the flesh). Being aware of this fact should help you when interacting with other members, and it will help create a balanced photo profile; one that is at turns sexy, subtle and classy.

The subtle approach: Online dating is an adult realm. Sex and sexuality are a big part of the equation, and everyone knows that. Still, adopting a subtler approach when creating your photo personal may be the best bet. Remember, the more you leave to the imagination, the more intrigued other singles will be. There's no limit to how suggestive your choice of language can get, but remember that once you cross over into what some may consider vulgarities, you may create an impression that is hard to shake.

The enticing photo stash: You may be proud of your breasts or shapely rear, but do you really want to put it all over your profile? After you've established contact and got to know other singles, you can always share these types of photographs. Initially though, it may repel more people than it attracts. In fact, having a stash of enticing, non-G rated photographs to share later on can be a fun and exciting way to steam up a promising relationship. Just remember to pick your spots (and partners) with care.

The sexy nickname (not always a good idea): Obviously the best nicknames are those that are fun, easy to say and catchy. There are never any rules in online dating, so you're free to choose what you like, but remember, the name you select will most often become the moniker other members know you by. So be careful when using sexual innuendo (regardless of if its subtle or more risqué), as a name like "BettyBigBoobs" may end up causing more embarrassment and discomfort than anything else.

Creating unrealistic expectations: By choosing to post suggestive photos and overtly sexual language, you may be opening yourself up to those who do not have the best intentions in mind. Ultimately, you have the choice over who you correspond with, but never feel the need to go along with certain behaviour if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Clearly telling other singles what you're looking for and what you hope to get from your online dating experience is the best way to avoid unrealistic expectations and misunderstandings.

The idea of balance in a relationship: While some relationships founded on pure physical attraction can flourish, the majority do not. Remember that while sex is exciting and fun, it takes much more to foster a real, strong relationship. If finding your true love is your ambition, remember that a focus on sex can only get you so far. In the end, you'll find that you need more than that to find the match you've been looking for.

Online dating will always be what you make it. It can be a potentially freeing way to meet like-minded singles from all over the world, but you have to remain true to yourself. Sex and sexuality are a big part of the equation, but you should never feel pressured into acting any way that does not make you completely comfortable. Ultimately, being honest and upfront about what you want is an important step in avoiding misunderstandings and having fun. Good luck!

>>> Asking yourself the tough questions about Internet Dating 

Before you start your online dating adventure (a quest that may change your life, or at the very least, raise your personal thermostat) you should always figure out what it is you're hoping to find. Being clear and focused will help you not only select the best dating site for you, but also narrow in on the singles that will make you weak in the knees. To get to that point, you often have to ask yourself some tough questions. This can be a difficult task, but one that's not impossible.

Here are some tips on getting over that hump and finding your motivation.

Know your initial motivation: Sure, everyone who checks out an online dating site wants to "meet someone," but going in with a vague notion like this might not be your best bet, as it can lead to a confusing start (and some potentially bad choices). Ask yourself what you want at your present stage of life, and what will make you happiest. Sometimes, if you allow yourself to be honest, you'll arrive at an answer that will surprise you. Writing out a brief list or personal journal might help you clear your mind of all the extraneous stuff and focus on what's most important.

How serious are you?: This is the key question among many. Just how serious are you willing to be in this online dating experiment? Every single on any dating site is looking for something or someone. Most people are willing to make great changes to their lives in order to meet and live with their perfect match. Are you that serious? Are you ready to put in some effort creating and writing a profile, posting photos, and corresponding with other singles? If you're not, you might want to look at the less taxing social networking options (like Myspace and Facebook).

Relocation, relocation, relocation: Once you've decided to give everything a go, you should ask yourself if you're willing to relocate. Some singles make it clear from the outset that they are only interested in meeting and corresponding with people in their region. Obviously, the more flexible you are the more chances you have to meet the love of your life, but this isn't always the case. Still, you never know, your perfect match may be living across the ocean in a foreign country.... whether or not you allow that opportunity to play out though, is your decision.

Does culture and age matter?: Is it very important for you to meet someone of a similar background, culture or age? Answering these questions may save you a lot of time and energy (and money). Take the time to picture any possibility, and any potential conflicts you may have in the future should you meet someone of a different age or culture. Will this cause a familial problem? Will it make it hard for any potential relationship to prosper? On the flip side, if these issues are important to you, make sure you don't let them completely dominate your search. After all, you don't want to limit yourself unnecessarily.

Online friends or casual encounters?: Are you just looking around? Hoping maybe to meet some new online friends? Or are you interested in casual encounters of the physical variety? The choice is yours, of course, but you should ask yourself what you feel comfortable with. If you can't picture yourself doing something, chances are you're not ready to look for it either.

The importance of being upfront: Be careful to always be honest about your intentions. Remember, if you string people along and then don't come through, you're wasting time and potentially hurting other singles' feelings. Be honest, and let people know what you're looking for.

Online dating can be a lifeline for many singles. It can allow you to meet the love of your life, or new friends and hot new lovers. The possibilities are endless, and fittingly, it's right to have an open mind. Nevertheless, it's important to start off with a clear concept of what you're looking for, as this will only improve your comfort and confidence. Ask yourself those tough questions, and let the fun start.

>>> How to spot a potential online dating scam 

Mennonites and cat lovers have now been taken care of), the issue of online security and safety is rearing its monstrous head again.

Just what can you do about the seemingly never ending Nigerian scam artists, the dangerously alluring Russian "ladies" and the Philippine women with visa troubles? If the media is to be believed, the online world is a scary place, a world that demands racial profiling and draconian security measures. Will any of this work? Especially when it can be just as hard to catch potential online dating scammers as it is catching future peeping toms in the "real-world"?

Fact is, despite the best efforts of the industry, and of the media, there are still people being ripped off, defrauded and hurt. These fraudsters though, make up only a small percentage of the singles using Internet dating services. While staying alert and smart (by never giving money to anyone) remains the best safeguard against fraud, there are still some telltale signs to help you know if the person you're dealing with is a fraud.

Here are some clues on how to spot a potential scammer.

Beware the Newbies: If you encounter a person who is brand new to the service, or someone who has been a member for a while but only uses it infrequently, be careful. Online dating scammers frequently create multiple profiles and alternate between them, which gives the scammer's fake persona the illusion of being someone new.

Lost in translation: If a person claims to be American, you should be able to converse with him or her in English. If you see that a so-called North American member is having trouble with the language though, be on guard. This isn't to say that everyone with spelling or grammatical mistakes is a scammer, but as most fraudulent online dating profiles originate from foreign countries, they are often written in poor, broken English.

Fake or "perfect" look pictures: A good rule of thumb when looking for scammers is to see what sort of photographs they are using. If a picture looks too good to be true, or if it looks copied form the Internet or a magazine, you should be very careful...especially if anything else seems amiss about the profile. Also, fraudsters rarely have more than one picture on a profile; so if you encounter someone with a fishy photograph, ask if they have any more.

Getting away from the site: If you have just met a single, and he or she asks you to leave the site for a personal email address or instant messaging system, please proceed with caution. Online scammers regularly employ this tactic to avoid having any interference from the dating site, and to remove evidence of their scamming to site administrators, who would remove the profile. Move away from the site with caution, making sure to correspond only with people you have taken the time to get to know and trust.

A long, strange email: Some scammers are in the habit of using long, pre-written email messages that they send out in bulk. These usually will involve strange situations and the description of some sort of problem (often involving being trapped in another country, or having to pay for a hefty hospital bill). Typically, these emails will be written in broken English, and will ask that you reply to a different email address outside of your dating site. Emails like these should be forwarded to your site's customer support department and not responded to.

Living Abroad: The easiest way to know something might be up with a profile is an indication that the single is not in the country he or she claims to be living in. Often, scammers will pretend to be Americans and then try to make members believe they are trapped, stuck or otherwise unable to leave a foreign country. Usually this ploy involves African countries, so be careful if you hear anything similar. Remember, you are on a dating site to meet your perfect match, not to pay for someone's travel expenses.

As long as you remember never to send money (or personal information) to anyone you just meet online, you should be fine. Nevertheless, scams and fraudsters are a very real part of the online dating world, so it's best to stay alert and careful. Remember though, just because one or two of these signs is present in a profile, doesn't mean you're being scammed. Everyone, as they say, is innocent until proven guilty.

>>> Common Online Dating Scams 

Though the majority of popular online dating sites now come equipped with a fair bit of fraud protection and security, it is never a bad idea to know what can happen if you let your guard down. The fact is that fraudsters exist and scams do happen (despite the best efforts of the industry), so it pays to be aware of the way scammers work. Being prepared and knowledgeable is a great way to protect yourself in the event you encounter such a person.

Here then are some common online dating scams.

Not enough money to travel: One of the oldest online dating scams has its origins in Russia. Fraudulent members will use the photographs of a model or someone similarly attractive, and claim to be in love with you. Once they've managed to gain your trust (and your ahem, enthusiasm) they'll then proceed to detail how much they would love to meet you in person. The problem however, is that they can't afford to pay for travel costs. Do not, under any circumstances, send money to someone for an airline ticket.

In desperate need of a visa: Another common scam works in the same manner as the above example, except that this time the scammer will try to make you believe they need a VISA to enter the country. With this scam the fraudster will try to emphasize how perfect the two of you are together. They will try to make you believe (often within minutes) how you two are a match made in heaven. As stated above, do not send money to help someone travel.

Stranded Abroad: A variation on the above scams sees the fraudster claim to be an American stranded in a foreign country, and in desperate need of money to get home. Usually these involve countries in Africa, though they are not exclusive to this region. An easy give-away to this type of scheme is the supposed single's level of English. If they are having trouble chatting with you, odds are good they are not the Americans they claim to be.

Medical assistance: If you spend enough time on an online dating site, eventually you might run into a purveyor of the medical assistance scam. Put simply, the fraudster will describe an illness, injury or medical problem that can be cured with financial help. No matter how detailed and intense these stories may be, do not give in. Remember, if something was truly wrong with this member, would he or she be chatting casually on an online dating site?

The Good Samaritan: The key to any fraudster's success is their ability to foster a level of trust. Often they will try to create a positive self-image by discussing their love of family members and friends. The tactic then switches to a discussion about a beloved family member's health problems and the scammer's efforts to save them. Do not offer to help anyone's sick family members, as odds are very good this is fraud.

The investment: The most obvious form of fraud is possibly the one least guarded against. If you encounter a person soliciting for a business or investment plan, please proceed with extreme caution. Always remember (and no matter how close you might have become with this particular single) you did not join a dating site to invest in a new product, business or stock.

Knowing the preferred methods of online dating scammers will help you keep yourself safe. Nevertheless, the cardinal rule in avoiding online scams is to never send cash (or money orders, transfers etc) to anyone you meet on the net. In fact, it's a good idea to even avoid giving out personal contact information until you get to know someone well. Good luck and stay safe.

>>> 13 Writing Tips for a Successful Online Dating Profile 

Ernest Hemingway once said that a blank sheet of paper was the most frightening thing he had ever seen...and he never had to write an online dating profile! Writing a personal essay that is intriguing, positive and representative of your character can be a challenging prospect, but it doesn't have to be intimidating. Remember, everyone is in the same situation, and ultimately, you're writing about a subject you know a lot about: yourself.

Still, I know how hard it can be to get started. So, to help you get over the initial hump, here are 11 useful tips for a great profile:

1) The only thing you have to fear is yourself: Success, some have said, is 80% showing up. Couple that with the right mentality, and you're likely to do well. Tell yourself you can write a great profile, and do your best to stay confident and positive throughout. Remember, doing something with a negative attitude is like trying to win a race on one foot: it might be possible, but it's bound to be more difficult.

2) Success is in the name: It's important to choose a nick name that is fun, catchy and somewhat relevant to your personality. Remember, this is going to be how other members know you and refer to you, so do you really want to go with "Skanky_larue" or "SluttyMarie"? You'll find that sexual innuendo, either subtle or crass, will often create misleading first impressions and awkward situations. So choose wisely.

3) Make a splashy entrance: Aside from great photos, an eye-catching headline is the next best thing to getting people's attention. Without being vulgar, it's best to use a fun, enticing introduction that avoids clichés. If you're stuck, look to some of your favourite books, movies and music for jokes, quotes, lines and lyrics that mean something to you. It's also best to avoid sexual boasts ("I'm a great lay"), tired lines ("Looking for Mr. Right"), desperation ("Please email me!"), or open hostility ("Deadbeats, bums and drunks go to hell!").

4) Where's your bait?: What is it that makes you special? What is your unique trait or life experience that will make people want to chat with you? Before you start writing, think about your work experiences, your children (if you have any), your pets, the places you have lived, the travels you have been on, and the languages you speak (or are learning). Odds are good that even the facts and activities you find mundane are interesting to someone else; so don't be afraid to share.

5) Start writing: Staring at a blank page hoping the right words appear will get you nowhere. Do not sit back and wait, procrastination is the enemy. Diving in and writing out a rough draft (either by hand or in a word program) is the easiest and most effective way to organise your thoughts. Start with what you are passionate about, and use your list of unique traits to get things rolling. Odds are, you'll soon find the momentum (and the words) needed to craft your personal essay.

6) The indirect description: Describing yourself can be a tricky thing. Underplaying it might make you seem bland or boring, while overstating can make you sound arrogant or insane. A good way to avoid this problem is to tell people what you like, and not what you are like. Mention some of your favourite foods, cities, music, books and movies, as well as hobbies. You'll find that this method will often paint a much more vivid picture of your character than something like "outgoing social worker seeks..."

7) Success is in the details: Instead of saying, "I am fun and easy-going," tell people about something you recently did for fun. Simply listing adjectives and activities means little if they are not backed up with some specifics for people to latch on to, so do what you can to include some short anecdotes and stories.

8) Honesty is the only policy: Do not lie, exaggerate or boast, no matter how strong the urge is. Sure, you may be feeling nervous or self-conscious, but you have nothing to gain by distorting the truth...even if you're sure you can pull off pretending to be a pilot. Lies, after all, are almost always revealed with time.

9) Keep Mr. Happy and the Twins out of this: We're sure you're proud of your 12 inch penis or Double D cup breasts, but are these the sort of things you'd mention when meeting someone in the flesh? Because of the nature of online dating, members often lose some of their inhibitions, and end up writing things they would never say in person. Ultimately, this works against them, so try to keep this in mind (even if your body parts are on your mind).

10) Use a positive vocabulary: One of the rules of marketing and advertising is to avoid using negative words and tones, and this can be helpful when writing a profile. People will generally respond more favourably to an upbeat, positive essay than to phrases like "Lonely male seeks soul mate" or "Desperate gal needs playmate." Think of what you would like to read in a profile, and use that as a guide.

11) Comedy: A funny way of being serious: Charlie Chaplin may have said that everything is a gag, but in the online dating world, you always have to be careful when joking around. Sure, a sense of humour can help make people feel comfortable, but they can also drive people away if taken too far (or if your idea of humour is different). Sarcasm or subtlety should also be used with care, as these often don't come across well in writing. Pick your spots, and remember; you can always impress people with your wit during a chat.

12) Restrain your inner Tolstoy: Always be brief. Many people skip over long personal essays, so go over what you've written and cut everything you think is not essential. Keep things short and snappy, and try to break up your writing into paragraphs, which is a nice way to make your essay easier to read.

13) Always spell and grammar check: Once you're happy with what you have written, make sure to put it into a spell and grammar-checking program. No one is expecting you to be a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but no one wants to read a thirty-line, punctuation free paragraph written exclusively in capital letters either. Put a bit of effort into it, and it will do wonders for the impression you make.

>>> The Most Common Nigerian Online Dating Scams 

When people talk about online fraud, the word "Nigeria" is almost never far behind. It is, after all, the birthplace for much of the fraud plaguing online dating sites around the world. The reality though is that Internet scams are a complex problem, and today can come from various countries within Africa, Asia and Europe. While most dating websites have taken aggressive steps against these fraudsters, your best defense remains knowledge, early detection and prevention.

Here is a guide to some of the most common "Nigerian" online dating scams.

The Nigerian Letter (or the "419 fraud"): The most famous Nigerian scam was also one of the first used on the American public. Essentially, the scam involves someone asking you to help wealthy associates move money with your bank account. They will promise you a large share of the overall sum moved, and then persuade you into sending money to cover the additional costs needed to bribe officials and avoid delays. Of course, no matter how much money you've invested in the "deal", the promised transfer never happens (and the money or wealthy person doesn't actually exist). These scams are often very intricately planned, and put into action through a network of people, which can make them very difficult to properly track. Please be extremely wary of communicating with anyone who proposes such a deal.

Money for the beloved (but sick) relative: One of the simplest but most effective online scams revolves around the goodwill of singles. Once the scammer has established a good level of trust with you (this may take days, weeks or even a matter of minutes), they will begin to describe a medical emergency affecting someone in their family. Though the family member described may differ, this scenario always revolves around the need for financial help. No matter what they tell you, or how genuine and sincere they seem, do not get suckered into sending money for someone's supposed medical care.

Stuck in a foreign (but always African) land: By far one of the most famous African-based scams involves making victims believe the scammer is an American trapped in a foreign land. Often pretending to be a white male or female, the fraudster will usually claim to be some sort of specialist, technician, or model working in Africa. The fraudster will ask you to help them get "home" by paying for visas, planes, trains, boats or any other means of transportation and accommodation. They will most often make it seem as if they are in very dire straights. Remember though, no matter how desperate they seem, someone in a truly serious, life-threatening situation would not be chatting on a dating site.

The Sweetheart Scam and Money Orders: A variant of the fraud detailed above is officially known as the Sweetheart Scam. It too involves a person stuck in Africa, but the "single" this time is a worker having trouble cashing money orders. The Sweetheart Scammer will ask you to deposit these money orders into your bank account and then wire him or her the money. He (or she) may even tell you to keep some money for yourself, to pay for the trouble. Before they get to this point though, they will have spent a lot of time trying to woo and seduce you (including sending cheap gifts like flowers and chocolate). The money orders, you should know, are never worth anything. Once your money is wired, you will likely never hear from your "sweetheart" again.

Shipping help: Because U.S. merchants are now wary of shipping anything to Nigeria, scammers are often looking for middlemen to move goods purchased with stolen credit cards or through hacked EBay accounts. Do not, under any circumstances, agree to send packages to Africa for someone you meet on an online dating site. Aside from getting stuck with postage fees you will never be compensated for, you are also participating in a crime.

Though it may seem scary to think there are people trying to defraud online daters, it should be noted that scammers make up only a small amount of the millions of singles looking for love online. Keeping some of these common scamming methods in mind will help you avoid getting stuck in a difficult situation. Always proceed with caution, and make sure to never send money to anyone, anywhere.

>>> Internet Dating: Meeting for the First Time 

There may be nothing more exciting (and stressful) in online dating than meeting someone in the flesh for the first time. You've chatted and traded emails-is it time to test out your match in the flesh? You'll find there is only one sure way to answer that question: to dive in and give it a shot.

Here are some pointers to keep in mind when taking this exciting step.

Letting friends and family know: The odds that anything bad happening to you when meeting someone from an online dating site are very minute (especially if you've put in the time getting to know each other). Nevertheless, it's always smart to be prudent rather than rash. Making sure someone in your family or friends knows where you're going and whom you're going with is a smart way to put yourself at ease. It's also a good idea to carry a cell phone with you on your first date, in case anything should occur.

Familiarity is best: When planning your first meeting, it's best to choose a place you are comfortable in, or at the very least familiar with. This way you don't have to worry about things like finding the meeting point, what to order once you're there, or how to dress. Going somewhere you know well will also help take your mind off any nervousness you may have, and allow you to focus solely on the single you're meeting.

Common meeting point: If distance is an issue, or if you can't decide on a meeting place, a good idea would be to settle on something both of you know. This may be a public square, pedestrian street or shopping mall, as along as it makes you both feel as if you're on "home turf". Remember that the more comfortable each of you feels, the easier you'll be able to open up and test out your potential for love. Restricting initial dates to public places, like restaurants and cafes is also the best method to ensure your safety.

Stick to the daytime: It's always a good idea to limit first dates to daytime activities, like going to an outdoor café or marketplace. This isn't to say that something bad will happen if you schedule your first date at night, but meeting during the day will take some of the pressure off and help create a more relaxed atmosphere. If the weather is nice, it will also allow you to take a walk together, which is a prime opportunity to show-off your talent for spontaneous plans and activities.

Dress for success: Even if you've spent weeks emailing or talking on the phone, you have to remember that this is still the first time you physically meet, and as such, you have to think about making a good first impression. It's not necessary to rush out and buy an entire new wardrobe, but you should definitely dress the best you can. Find out where you are going and pick clothes appropriately (no high heels on a nature hike, for example). Make sure everything is cleaned, pressed and matching, and remember that it's usually better to be subtle and classy than flashy and over the top.

Is it right to bring gifts?: Many singles often feel they are required to bring flowers or chocolates when first meeting an online acquaintance, but this isn't always the case. Remember that there are no rules written in stone when it comes to online dating (or dating in the real world), so the decision to bring a gift is entirely up to you. A nice way to tackle this issue is to consider topics you have talked about, or specific interests your new potential match might have. Bringing a small gift related to something they are passionate about is a very thoughtful gesture that will score you many points. Remember though to keep the price under control, as spending too much money on someone right off the bat might come across the wrong way.

Steer clear of the beer: There is nothing wrong with sharing a bottle of wine or even having a beer at a bar together, but keep in mind that moderation is never more important than when first meeting another single. The last thing you'd want to do is drink too much and either get sick or act inappropriately. Keep the consumption under control and drink each other in.

Keeping it simple and fun: When you meet your online dating acquaintance for the first time, it is mostly an opportunity for the two of you to test your compatibility in the flesh. As such, you should do what you can to keep the date simple, fun and worry-free. Spontaneity is definitely exciting, but things like skydiving and paragliding might be best saved for later dates. Focus on activities that allow the two of you to talk and get to know each other. Try getting a table at a quiet bistro both of you like, or consider a walk along the waterfront and a stop at a nice quaint coffee shop. In the end anything will work really, provided you both are relaxed and enjoying each other's company.

Like offline dating, meeting another online dater for the first time can be hit or miss. There's always the chance that the spark you felt online will not work in the flesh. Of course, there's also the possibility that the Internet chemistry you felt will only blossom in the real world. You'll never really know unless you try. Staying safe though, and keeping these tips in mind will at least ensure a good time in the process.

>>> Getting Started (and being safe) with Online Dating.

These days, almost everyone has a personal web page, online dating profile or chat handle. It's no surprise then that millions of people are taking to the net to find love. The question is though, is online dating safe? The answer, of course, is both yes and no. Every dating site is different, but they're all similar in that the easiest way to ensure your safety is to protect yourself.

Here then are some tips for getting started (and being safe) with online dating.

Post a good photo: You are statistically more likely to find your perfect match if your profile has a clear picture. In fact, the more photographs you use, the more your chances of meeting interesting singles increases. Posting a fake photograph should be avoided, as it will only lead to trouble. Play the field: Contact as many people as possible. You may be shy at first, but the only way to find someone is to get out there and chat with anyone you find intriguing or attractive. Don't be afraid. You'll find that, unlike meeting people in person, it's much easier to approach people online. Be outgoing but careful: No matter how wonderful a person may seem at first, restrict initial contact to the chat room or inbox. Coming on too strong may often be a sign of trouble. Use your spidey-sense; if something bothers you, let it be known. Safety is your first priority when dealing with strangers. Ask Questions: Getting to know a potential love match revolves around your ability to ask questions. The less you ask, the less you're likely to find out. Obviously, it's best to tread lightly on personal matters at first, but remember, if you don't ask, you're bound to be surprised later on. Be honest and friendly: There is absolutely nothing to gain by being dishonest. It might be tempting to exaggerate qualities or achievements, especially when you're meeting new singles, but resist the urge. Lies are almost always revealed with time. Be honest, outgoing and courteous, and odds are good you will receive the same sort of treatment from your fellow online daters.

Avoid sex talk and vulgarity: Part of the appeal of online dating is the removal of inhibitions and shyness. Because of this, people often say things they would never mention in person. Using a suggestive nickname, vulgar language and overtly sexual subject matter may attract attention initially, but it may also create a certain expectation, which can cause problems later on.

Meeting for the first time: Should you decide to take the next step, it's best to choose a place you are comfortable in, or at least a commonly known and agreed upon meeting point. It's also a good idea to limit first dates to daytime activities, like going to a café or bookstore. Meeting in a public place is another great way to ensure your safety.

Stick to what makes you confident and comfortable: Once you start dating, stick to activities and conversations you're comfortable with. "Clicking" and pleasing someone else is important, but not if it comes under pressure.

==>> Mitch Conway is the author of The Go-Getter's Guide to Finding Your Soulmate, the first installment in the Go-Getter's Guides series. A businessman with an MBA, Mr. Conway describes himself as having been an "average single guy" who decided to take a pragmatic and structured approach to finding his soulmate. His techniques and advice were put together over a period of three years into what is now The Go-Getter's Guide to Finding Your Soulmate.  To find out more, visit www.gogettersguides.com - -

Adult dating has come to dominate the internet.