How To Attract Women - Make Her Fall in Love With You
Attract Women - How to Become and Alpha Male
>>> How To Make A Woman Fall In Love With You.
Getting the woman of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dreams. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the woman of your dreams. She's so sweet a thing to be discounted. You dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth - but by the words of the heart.
Getting the woman actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.
Whether she is a slender vision of girlish delight or a full figured big beautiful woman in full bloom, you want her. You NEED her - and this is how you can make her want YOU...
The first dating idea for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms and Dicks do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of your own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance. Watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap. Be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.
How to make her fall in love with you? Take your time. Add some romance to your dating style.
When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was "Your Secret Admirer." The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hello Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me and made a date in the romantic manner.
Befriending and understanding the woman you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the woman and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship. And it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.
A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the gal needs you to listen as a friend.
Make the woman feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the woman offers you and for making you smile.
In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your woman how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the woman know that she's your first thought in the morning and the last thing on your mind when you go to bed at night.
Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.
You have to be creative and constructive to keep woman's interest in you so full of life.
I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are those sure things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?
Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.
The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.
Remember, patience is the key to her heart! Be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that loving heart of hers.
I wish you to meet the woman of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest woman in the world!
>>> Does She Want Me? Four Hot Signs Of Attraction.
In today's society, beauty, physical attraction, and sexuality are all commonly misunderstood as some transcendent inevitable fact; falsely interlocking the three makes it seem doubly true that in order to initiate attraction between a man and a woman, both sexes should be beautiful to be sexual.
That of course is not true at all. The definitions of beautiful, attraction, and sexual constantly change to serve the social order, and the connection between the three ideas is a recent invention.
Some psychologists contend that the disparity among the concepts of beauty, attractions, and sexuality is based on the premise that both sexes are inclined to physical or sexual attraction because women are able to view men just as men view women, as subjects for sexual and aesthetic evaluation.
In a survey conducted by an "evolutionary psychologist," from 10,000 individuals who were interviewed, it was found out that men have high-regards to physical attraction in their budding sexual mates, while women attach importance to prominence, goals, and monetary sources.
No wonder why most cases of attraction are all based on sexuality and physical attributes. This is because men and women would rather have their significant others physically and sexually capable of giving them their necessities.
For instance, men are attracted to women who look good because this indicates excellent vigor and the capacity to produce offspring babies. On the other hand, women are attracted to men who look good because this indicates abundance in financial resources, in which, the ability to provide the basic necessities to their children is generated.
The point here is that both men and women may have their own basis for attraction but everything is generally focused on the physical and material aspects. This is because attraction is associated with the fact that the physical attributes motivate that part of the brain known as the "hypothalamus" that will produce different kinds of reactions from the body such as sexual arousal, increased heart rate, and perspiration.
So the question now is: How can the individual identify the clear signs of attraction?
There are many probable actions that might suggest attraction. However, the real signs include but not limited to the following:
1. Visual contact.
This is when both a man and a woman gazed upon each other and instantly prolonged the moment as they look at each other longer than the typical glance.
Both are completely immersed on each other's anecdote, and every word will impress them both. All eyes are glued to each other that send a message that they are drawn to each other.
2. Preen.
Preening means to adorn oneself carefully or to groom oneself with particular attention to details. Hence, attraction sets in when both would try to instantly make a quick fix and conquer each other's space.
3. Flirting.
Teasing could have been the more appropriate term for it. This is when both sexes converse in a relaxed manner, with bodily actions associated to their thoughts and feelings, where, most often than not, sexual tensions and arousal are the primary upshots.
4. Physical contact.
This is when a woman leans to wards the man and places a modest hand on his hand or arm. In this way, the woman is trying to tell the other person that she is attracted to him and that she is open to possibilities that involve the concerned person.
All of these things are boiled down to the fact that the asymmetry of the correlation among beauty, attraction, and sexuality that tells both men and women lies on how they both perceive each other's physical attributes. This is inevitable because the lack of it will definitely keep them sexually estranged.
Attraction is generally focused on imagery that is exclusively on the physical attributes of both men and women, where the society has created a very important role. This goes to show that the signs of attraction indicate the clear identification of desirability.
Given all that, both men and women should make the choice, by and large, to take each other as human beings first and not just mere sexual objects.
It should be well noted that these signs of attraction may be well confined on the premise that both men and women send out these signs as a ticket to conquer each other's space so as to start the "getting-to-know-each-other" stage.
>>> Here are some not-so-casual Date Ideas!
Heterosexual attraction comes close to relationships when people started to go out on a date. That is, when a man and a woman had both decided to try seeing each other in a social context, where the primary persons involved are just the two of them.
These things comprises on the truth about dating. The only problem is that people and the emerging modern trend in the society today had established a new norm for dating. That is, to construct an outward commitment to each other.
Hence, this creates the idea of ownership, wherein, both man and woman are no longer allowed to go out on a date with other people because each belongs to their partner. In turn, it creates an air of exclusivity.
In cases like these, the general intention of the two people involved is focused on the idea of getting married after quite some time.
However, the only problem with this is that the relationship creates restrictions so stiff that one or both of them have higher chances of getting bored and weary on the relationship.
This goes to show that dating like casual dating should only constitute responsibility but not limited to being exclusive toe ach other.
Alternatively, more people contend that casual dating is the idyllic form of building relationships. In this aspect, an individual will have the tendency to give worth on the other person, discover the good things about him or her, and learns the true pleasure of one's self.
In casual dating, a man and a woman go out, have some burgers, or watch a movie as frequent as they would like. The only distinctive feature of casual dating is that the activity does not entail actual commitment. Here, both men and women are expected to merely enjoy the companionship of each other.
Casual dating aims to promote two important aspects of human socialization. First, the chance to meet other people is enough to boost social capacity to interact with different kinds of personalities. Second, with casual dating, the person involved is able to determine something about himself or herself that was not yet known.
The problem with most people who find their date a disaster is based on the premise that they have imagined and expected that the date would be the way to a more serious relationship. Hence, when everything turned out bad, they get frustrated and depressed.
On its actuality, casual dating entails merely as a way to enjoy each other's company. Its basic intention is to simply have fun and enjoy the time. It should never be formal.
Hence, for people who wish to go out on a casual date but do not know how to make each date unique from the others, here is a list of some remarkable casual date ideas:
1. Typical dates.
For casual dates, going to the movies and stopping by for a drink afterwards is an absolute idea. Here, both the man and the woman go out on a date and enjoy watching movies that they both like and have some drinks after the movie to talk about what they have seen.
It may sound recurring and may suggest boredom. But the truth is that since both persons involve enjoy just being together is an enough condition that they take pleasure in whatever they both do.
U.S. census' reports claim that nearly 44% of adults in the U.S. are significantly single. But this figure does not necessarily mean that they do not go out on a date. In fact, some surveys supported the contention that out of this 44%, almost 60% are known to have dated other people once in a while. The important note her is that they are single because they are not committed.
2. Timeless date ideas.
Traditional dating ideas like an afternoon stroll in the park, doing a particular sport together, eating out, etc., are great casual date ideas.
These timeless date concepts suggest a feeling of goodness and delight where each person takes joy in spending a good time with each other with no strings attached.
3. Special events.
Great casual date ideas may involve going to a concert or an afternoon picnic together after doing a project in school. Enjoying the event together establishes a very light feeling that eliminates strain on the relationship.
The bottom line is that casual date ideas may resemble to those of the concept being used by people who are committed to each other. The only difference is that there is lesser tension because the main focus of the activity is simply to have fun and enjoy each other's company.
>>> How To Attract Women With Your Attitude.
If there was one magic pill that you could pop to make yourself more attractive to women, would you take it?
Chances are, most men would give answer with a resounding yes. After all, who has the time to keep up with the countless dating advice and tips handed out by dating gurus who promise that by doing what they tell you to do, women would come in droves begging you to let them bear your children?
You've just met a hot sexy woman 20 plus and you want her?
But since reality bites, no such pill exists. And the male species, since the beginning of civilization, has been working on making himself the object of interest and attention of his female counterparts. Even now, in this age of dating websites and speed dating the objective has not changed.
So why is it that some guys seem to get it right all the time while the rest seem to remain luckless no matter what they do? Some would say that looks and appearances had everything to do about it. But that's not entirely true.
While it may be so that how a guy looks like matters in order to catch a woman's attention, that alone will not make him totally attractive. What makes the guy go from "Hi there. You alone?" to "Good morning, doll." is his attitude.
Attitude by definition is your outlook and mindset towards any given situation. In the dating scenario, it would mean how you behave and think when it comes to approaching a woman, chatting up a conversation with her and treating her just a tad more special than the rest of the women in the room.
So what kind of attitude should you have?
A lot of guys think that they need to impress women to makes themselves attractive. While making an impression is important, you need to make sure that that impression is really you. Otherwise, your attitude towards dating shows that you would rather make false impressions and basically lie, just so that you can get what you want. Not exactly an attractive trait, isn't it?
Instead, develop the "just as I am" attitude. No pretenses, no airs - just what you really are. Very little anything else makes one more attractive to women than to see a guy that's totally honest about who and what he is.
But hold on, that is not to say that you should totally let yourself go. The "just as I am" attitude does not mean not bothering to dress up in nice clothes just because you are more of a shorts-and-flip-flops kind of guy.
Not in the least. In fact, the "as is" attitude should stay in the backstage. The main idea is that you don't need to pretend to be the sensitive writer type when you're more of a Monday night football kind of guy. But at the same time, you need to make an effort to put your best foot forward.
Do this by taking the time to look your best. You don't need to look like Hugh Jackman's long lost twin, but don't look (and smell) like a bum either. Take the time to choose clothes that fit well on you. Pay attention to body hygiene, especially if you tend to sweat and don't forget to check your breath as well. But more importantly, work on making this a habit rather than a once-in-a-while thing. That alone increases your attractive points by a whole lot.
Now that you've cleaned and dressed up, it's time to work that attitude. For example, as you approach someone, tell yourself that all you need to do to get her interested is for you to be friendly and to treat her well. You don't need to impress her with things that aren't true about you. Remember, you are to come as you are and not someone else.
If she responds, then good for you. If she doesn't seem to be interested regardless of how nice you are, that's still ok. If this happens, tell yourself that you and her don't fit and then walk away. At the very least, the woman you just approached will notice that you knew when to stop. Surprisingly, on a second encounter, she just might give you a better chance, just because you showed restraint the first time you met.
Now this isn't a foolproof plan that can help you score with the ladies. But it is a lot better than pretending to be something that isn't you. Developing a healthy confident attitude about yourself will not only make you more attractive to the right women around you, but will also help you personally as you begin to see yourself in a better light.
>>> What Attracts Women?
It has been a well accepted fact that men are basically clueless to whatever it is that attracts women. In fact, some reports contend that women are so hard to comprehend that even if men master how to decode their body language, still, they just could not understand women, in one way or another.
According to some studies, 3 out of 10 men are can attest that they really understand women.
The remaining 7, you ask? They are out in the haystack finding needles. This means that almost 70% of the men population in the U.S. contends that whatever they do, they still could not figure out how to understand women.
For this reason, men are having a hard time to figure out what attract women sexually and romantically in a relationship. 6 out of ten men attest that women are so unpredictable that what they thought women are attracted to, they suddenly realize in the end that it is not the right things after all.
So for those who are still confused, dazed, and perplexed on what attracts women, here is a list that could serve as your guide if you want to know how to catch your girl's attention:
1. Women are not attracted to "nice guys"
There are instances wherein some guys thought that in order to attract women, they must be good looking, smells really good, dress really good, and projects a goody-two-shoes image.
What these guys do not know is that, in reality, women are more attracted to men who project "bad-boy" image rather than those who are nice. This is because most women find nice guys relatively boring and uninteresting as compared to those who are funny and confident about themselves.
Surveys show that 30% of women value personality most. Though, this does not necessarily mean that women prefer nice personalities. What women would rather have are men who have lovable personalities brought about by their sense of humor and confidence.
The point is that some clinical studies done to uncover the truth about men and women revealed that men are, generally, more concerned with their looks, while women are more into the character and the way men behave around women.
2. Women are attracted to things that cannot be initially seen by the human eye
This goes to show that innate things, those that are not constrained by physical boundaries and limitations are what really attract women. Women are more concerned with what they cannot see literally. This could refer to personality traits, behavior, and attitude.
No wonder why most women would rather date a man who has good personality even if the guy is not good looking or he does not have a car.
3. Women are more attracted to men who knows how to handle themselves quite well
The problem with most men is that they are very egoistic that they are more focused on what the public would see them.
On the contrary, women are not so much on what makes a man but rather on how man makes out of himself. For instance, women are not concerned on the physical attributes of a man but more on how the man takes care of his body.
Another example, if a particular man is rich and famous, it may hold some possible attraction between the man and a woman. However, this will not guarantee that women will opt to have the rich and famous for a relationship. If the woman will be able to perceive how this man manages his finances well, then, that is the only time the woman will pay attention to the guy.
The point here is that material things like wealth, looks, physical attributes, education, influence, power, etc., still do matter. However, it these do not necessarily mean that these things are everything that a man needs in order to be attractive to women.
The truth is that in order to attract women, men must, generally, have nice attitude and personality. It is only when men make women feel that whenever women are with them, they would feel safe and secured.
Given all that, women and men view of the concept of attraction varies considerably. This goes to show that if ever a man would like to attract a particular woman, he should set aside his own point of view and interest, and instead, try to work out in order to catch the attention of the woman.
>>> How to Date a Busy Girl.
Dating a busy girl can be one of the hardest and most frustrating tasks in the world of dating. If a guy really likes a girl but she is too busy to reciprocate the time and effort being given to her, what does a guy do?
Here are some tips on how to survive when dating a busy girl and eventually win her heart:
-Is she really busy?
The first thing that a guy should ask when dating a busy girl is "is she really busy?" It is a fact- women tend to give excuses to guys whom they don't really like. Women are sensitive of men's feelings and that's why they tend to candy-coat certain realities. Another possibility is that she likes the guy but she is experiencing some kind of apprehension towards dating him. After a certain period in dating, pressure, doubts and insecurities tend to come in the picture. A girl might need some time to be able to think on her own about some things that might be giving her nightmares.
A guy must be sensitive enough to be able to look into a woman's mind. If a guy is into dating a busy girl, he might have some idea of what's the real deal after some time. If the girl is really busy, then the steps below might help.
-Is the scenario comfortable?
If the girl is just too busy to able to have ample time for dating, one must ask oneself if he is comfortable with this scheme. We are not talking about married life and thus, the door to other opportunities is still open.
Another possibility is that it is simply just the wrong time to be dating her. No one should be forced into getting into relationships even in dates. The parties should talk about it to be able to get more comfortable with each other. There are 24 hours a day and some times, it just takes effort to be more efficient to be able to save some time to do other things. Some times, being busy is just not an excuse.
-Thoughtful actions.
If the talk has been done and both parties decide to continue dating, the guy must be able to make his way through the lack of time and stiff schedules. Leaving simple notes or giving simple surprises on her desk or have someone deliver something for her would really make her feel special. This will give her an impression that one is really serious about her even if she is too busy to manifest her own feelings.
Being thoughtful will make a girl think night and day. She will be reminded of one's efforts whenever she sees a simple token of one's thoughts.
-Use technology.
The modern world has made everyone much busier. But the good thing is that it has given the modern man great tools to go about everyday living. Technology has come a long way in bridging people together. With the advent of high-tech communication tools such as cellular phones and the Internet, one can be able to communicate with others.
One must know how to use these tools if he's dating a busy girl. He can send her text messages or captioned pictures through his cellular phone. Instant messengers such as MSN and Yahoo messenger can also be a way to constantly talk to her. They are also free of charge, so one can actually save some bucks when using them.
Giving her a call once in a while is also advised since hearing one's voice is the next best thing to meeting someone (excluding the use of 3rd generation cellular phones).
-Make each date special.
In dating a busy girl, the number of dates can be limited because of her schedule. So, one must find ways of making each and every date a special and memorable one. Spending time to get the logistics right should be done if one is not too busy himself. Make sure that the talks also develop with each date to assure that the relationship is going somewhere.
-Get occupied.
Dating a busy girl may actually drive someone crazy. Some guys tend to do nothing but think about their girls whenever they have nothing else to do. One must be able to find ways of having fun, learning new things or getting new hobbies can be ways of doing that.
Dating a busy girl is a worthwhile thing to do as long as a guy sees that there is something special about the girl. Dating a busy girl just for the sake of dating can really be a waste of time, so one must make sure that he is dating the right (even though busy) girl.
>>> Is She Interested In Me: How To Decode Her Body Language
Women are generally known to be very talkative. Give them a chance to start talking and they will definitely shoot the breeze, unloading several months' worth of hormonal challenges unto your simple yes-or-no questions.
Hence, you would tend to think that with their knack in lip fluttering, they would find the other mediums of communication completely useless.
However, man's fine female friends are a "bilingual" to a certain extent, and she is as articulate in body language as she is in the words on paper.
Therefore, when it comes to feelings and relationships, women would use other forms to convey their message. They would use such tools to convey their message without going into trouble. They would literally try to do it on their own little way.
According to some experts, the only problem is that even if women have their own set of language, it is still hard for the amateurs to decode the body language. In fact, body languages are only seen clearly in about 1 out of 1,000 contacts with men.
Hence, the only way to succeed in analyzing if the woman really likes you is to decode the body language that they may have been projecting but were taken for granted because you do not understand its meaning.
So to make certain you do not make a hash of translation, here is a list of definitions that would identify the most common moves that would literally tell you that she is interested in you an dhow to react on the actions.
Self-stroking.
You are talking to a chick at a bar, and you notice her slowly running her hand up and down her forearm. It is a rash! It is a twitch!
No! It is a tactile woman!
She loves the feel of things on her hand, and most probably the rest of her body. A simple movement like that speaks pages. It is like telling you, "Look at my hand, pretend it is yours."
What to do: "Look but do not touch" does not apply here. Give her a few strokes but keep your hands on neutral territory.
A touch on the shoulder, a tap on the top of her hand would be enough. If she is telling you what you hope she is telling you, she will easily focus her tactile fixation on you.
The Hair-Behind-Ear Tuck.
Most women have this technique down pat. It may be an affection of the typical and much sought-after demure lady.
For the most part, it shows that your girl is a preneer. She likes to have every strand of hair to be in place; and a single one of them is out of line. That is the ear tuck power.
What to do: Pay her a compliment. Any compliment will do, but a "I like your hair like that" may just be the ticket that she has been waiting from you.
Of course, you have heard that flattery would not get you anywhere, but it will be a good start. Do not start off with it, though, because it is just a damn lame line. But throw it into a crucial part of the conversation, and hopefully, she will soon be doing her preening for you.
Puppy Dog Eyes.
Awww! She is so cute. Those big doe eyes are practically begging for assistance. She needs your help and you must willingly give it.
Gotcha!
Although this tactic is used mostly for flat tires and bus seats, it works quite well in the flirting and pick-up scene as well.
What to do: When the puppy dog's eyes come on, jump into action. Snap your fingers and order a drink for her. Offer her a chair. Do not overdo it though, because women are totally capable of themselves, and the only reason why she appears like a damsel in distress is the fact that she likes you and she is interested to know you better.
The Laugh and Touch Combo.
At an appropriate time in the conversation, you whip out your favorite gay bar joke to seal the deal with your date. She laughs unabashedly, leans towards you, and plants an unassuming hand on your thigh, arm, or shoulder.
So she thinks you are funny, right? Wrong. The upside down, though, is that she is into you, downright interested in you, despite the lame-ass joke. This is her way of showing you that she is easy to get along with and open to possibilities that involve you.
What to do: Talk about things that border on the intimate, but end with a self-deprecating joke. This will keep you from going too heavy but at the same time, it sends out the signal that you like her too and that you are comfortable with her.
The bottom line is that men should not be more focused on decoding the body language alone. Trigger the quest by providing appropriate responses in return. That would surely end you both in such an exciting world of "getting-to-know-you-better" stage.
>>> First Date Weirdness: How to Avoid That Awkward Silence
First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one's mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears.
Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date.
Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward.
On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date's feelings or make the conversation boring. This is because usually one is very concerned about one's impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date.
One's apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one's thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one's capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends.
As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as "awkward silence".
Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one's first date.
One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc.
Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it's no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are.
Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion.
Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you.
Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess.
Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story. Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal.
Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you'll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond.
Do not let the "awkward silences" worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you.
Relax and be yourself. When "silence" do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better.
>>> How To Be More Confident With Women
Self-confidence is a major factor which can determine the success of a man towards approaching a woman. It can make or break a relationship in a snap.
Self-confidence is generally defined as one's view of himself, his capabilities and his potentials. There are men who are plainly wrong in giving all of their efforts to deliver what women want. This is wrong in the sense that one must love oneself before he can love others.
Courting and dating are pretty much like having a job interview. A job interview aims to assess one's abilities and confidence. An applicant can actually make up stories about his experience and his talents, that's why the employer assesses him mostly on how he presents himself and on his confidence. This is also the main principle behind being with women.
So how does one develop confidence towards women? Here are some ways on how a guy can be better in dealing with girls:
- Take some time out for yourself.
Again, it all begins with oneself. If a guy has low confidence towards women, he might want to give himself some time away from women and stop trying for a while. He may want to list down the things that he doesn't like with himself, his insecurities in life and his fears. He may then proceed into detailed assessment of the reasons behind such negative thoughts about himself. Then, he must propose solutions for his own betterment.
The solutions should be carried out with dedication and inspiration. This move will not only make a man more confident amidst women, but amidst anyone in general. If one sees oneself with beauty, then he will become more confident.
-Don't be afraid of women.
Some men are simply afraid of women. For some reason, even the thought of approaching women scares them. Hopefully, the first step can help solve this awful problem by assessing oneself and finding solutions to one's insecurities. However, dealing with women is on a whole different level. Women speak a language that is different from what men use. Men and women also think and act differently. All these factors can scare a man away from women.
A man must know how to deal with women, he will use this skill eventually in romantic relationships. Having casual conversations with women friends, colleagues and acquaintances will give a man the much needed map towards a woman's mind. The ability to smoothly talk with women can come in at a later time but this can only be done if one is comfortable with talking with the ladies.
- Listen to stories.
There is more than one way to develop the skill in dealing with women. Talking to women and being comfortable around them can be an approach, but a man can also learn from other men. Men usually talk about shallow things when it comes to women, but there are moments when men's talk is taken in a whole different level. Moments of sensibility attacks men and they share their wholesome experiences in dealing with women. One must be keen in listening to these stories and must not take them for granted.
-Try to lessen sexual thoughts.
A man's confidence can diminish if he thinks too much of sex. Guilt will then follow and the whole approach is ruined. A man must re-assess his goals if he wants to be successful in getting the girl whom he likes. Thinking too much of sex is definitely a wrong way to deal with women.
-Don't be too needy.
There are other things in life that are as equally important as women. A man must not destroy his life by trying too hard to get girls. Sometimes, when people don't expect it, the best things come. A man should not take the pressure of getting girls to extent of leaving everything behind and making girls his number one priority. Some people marry, some stay single, and this is a reality that every man must accept. There are many ways to achieve fulfillment and happiness in life. This kind of philosophy can boost one's confidence in women and will improve women's view towards him.
Boosting one's confidence towards women would require a personal commitment. It is not achieved by acquiring more wealth or by getting on a diet. A re-shaping of one's own view of himself is the key element towards achieving this goal.
>>> Pick Up Guide is a new directory on the fine art of picking up members of the opposite sex. "Visit us for our hundreds of articles on approaching women, getting phone numbers, conquering your shyness, and asking men or women out." Check it out!
