How Men Show Love – A Guest Article by Relationahip Expert Kara Oh
About herself, Kara Oh, who has been seen on the Oprah Network, NBC, ABC, FOX and CBS, says: “When I published my best-selling book, Men Made Easy, practically overnight I became the nation’s female expert on men.
“I traveled the country doing hundreds of radio and TV interviews, speaking in book stores in every major and many not-so-major cities from the west coast to the east coast and back.
“Through my books, workshops, articles, videos and public speaking engagements, I continue to share what I have learned about men so women can create romantic relationships that will be filled with love forever…”
Women often don’t always know if their man still loves them or not. Guys sometimes just do not express themselves! Or do they?
I received questions from two women this week, which, on the surface, might appear to require different answers. But the answers are actually the same. One was about how she was upset because her guy didn’t remember the anniversary of their first date and the other asked how she could get her guy to express his love “night and day.”
Regarding the “night and day” thing, I put an update on facebook that night and day would probably drive a woman nuts if she actually got that. I suspect the one who wrote me was a teenager, but it got me to write this article, so that’s a good thing.
So here’s the deal with men. They’re just not wired to be mushy, especially as much as most women would want. The seldom express what they’re feeling, especially the real mushy stuff. We women have a mountain of thoughts and ideas about what we’re feeling, we can put them into words, describe them, add lots of flourishes, and If we explained all our thoughts about the relationship to our man, he would probably start climbing the walls. It makes us feel good when we have mushy thoughts and feelings, so we want and expect him to enjoy that part of being in love as well. But that’s not how a man relates to his woman.
In my years of studying men for my book, Men Made Easy, one thing became very clear. Men show love through action. They like to be our hero, solve problems for us, fix things, protect us, and make us happy…in their own ways.
Too often, when women need a man to express love in a certain way, they miss out on all the ways they ARE expressing their love. So notice if he likes to solve problems for you, do things for you, show you a good time going out on dates. If he is attentive, takes you out, calls once in a while, texts, emails, then he is expressing his love.
For you to relax and enjoy your relationship more, rather than stressing over what he’s NOT doing, pay attention to what he is doing. Make a list of all the things he does that makes you feel special, beautiful, sexy, taken care of, cherished, treasured and loved. Men like to DO things, it’s natural and comfortable for them. If you focus on how he makes you feel, day-in day-out, then you’ll start seeing that he does express his love, just not in the ways you want.
If you stay upset because he isn’t remembering special anniversaries or doesn’t tell you in words how he feels, I invite you to do a Relaxation Meditation and ask yourself why you’re upset. And also, ask how you most enjoy receiving love. I suspect it all ties together and leads to something in your childhood. You can download Relaxation Meditation and use it any time you want to go inside and ask your Inner Wise Woman for advice. That’s just a fancy way to say you’ll talk to your inner wisdom that lies just beneath your consciousness.
There’s so much more you need to understand about men if you are going to negotiate your way to getting what you want from them. I hope you’ll go ahead and get a copy of Men Made Easy so you can start applying the secrets. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they cause men to respond to you in brand new ways.
From my heart to yours,
Kara
